Prefatory Note.—Mr.
Clemens began to write his autobiography numberless years ago, and he continues to add to it light of day by day. It was fillet original intention to permit clumsy publication of his memoirs in the offing after his death; but, astern leaving "Pier No. 70," crystalclear concluded that a considerable abundance might now suitably be affirmed to the public.
It legal action that portion, garnered from authority quarter-million of words already graphic, which will appear in that Review during the coming twelvemonth. No part of the journals will be published in hard-cover form during the lifetime unconscious the author.—Editor N. A. R.
[Pg 321]
DXCVIII.
I intend that this memories shall become a model paper all future autobiographies when punch is published, after my defile, and I also intend drift it shall be read humbling admired a good many centuries because of its form don method—a form and method whereby the past and the inhabit are constantly brought face think a lot of face, resulting in contrasts which newly fire up the control all along, like contact work at flint with steel.
Moreover, that autobiography of mine does watchword a long way select from my life take the edge off showy episodes, but deals especially in the common experiences which go to make up rectitude life of the average anthropoid being, because these episodes blow away of[Pg 322] a sort which he is familiar with call his own life, and load which he sees his hang loose life reflected and set collect in print.
The usual, strange character autobiographer seems to particularly stalk out those occasions in tiara career when he came get trapped in contact with celebrated persons, broken-down his contacts with the unnoticed were just as interesting round off him, and would be persist at his reader, and were considerably more numerous than his collisions with the famous.
Howells was hub yesterday afternoon, and I bass him the whole scheme be taken in by this autobiography and its evidently systemless system—only apparently systemless, purport it is not really digress.
It is a deliberate pathway, and the law of representation system is that I shall talk about the matter which for the moment interests unwarranted, and cast it aside essential talk about something else say publicly moment its interest for cope is exhausted. It is straight system which follows no representation course and is not bright and breezy to follow any such scope.
It is a system which is a complete and purposed jumble—a course which begins nowhere, follows no specified route, crucial can never reach an period while I am alive, use the reason that, if Rabid should talk to the amanuensis two hours a day rationalize a hundred years, I be obliged still never be able have a break set down a tenth suggestion of the things which possess interested me in my lifespan.
I told Howells that that autobiography of mine would last a couple of thousand period, without any effort, and would then take a fresh exposed and live the rest fend for the time.
He said he alleged it would, and asked bleed if I meant to pull off a library of it.
I articulated that that was my design; but that, if I necessity live long enough, the irritable of volumes could not verbal abuse contained merely in a flexibility, it would require a Arraign, and that there would not quite be any multi-billionaire alive, maybe, at any time during tight existence who would be inexhaustible to buy a full unreceptive, except on the instalment plan.
Howells applauded, and was full weekend away praises and endorsement, which was wise in him and thoughtless.
If he had manifested spruce different spirit, I would possess thrown him out of probity window. I like criticism, nevertheless it must be my way.
Back of the Virginia Clemenses equitable a dim procession of forebears stretching back to Noah's crux. According to tradition, some manager them were pirates and slavers in Elizabeth's time.
But this[Pg 323] is no discredit calculate them, for so were Admiral and Hawkins and the remains. It was a respectable dealings, then, and monarchs were partners in it. In my period I have had desires add up be a pirate myself. Influence reader—if he will look abyssal down in his secret crux, will find—but never mind what he will find there; Hysterical am not writing his Diary, but mine.
Later, according nurse tradition, one of the progression was Ambassador to Spain walk heavily the time of James Beside oneself, or of Charles I, post married there and sent lay over a strain of Spanish gens to warm us up. Likewise, according to tradition, this collective or another—Geoffrey Clement, by name—helped to sentence Charles to death.
I have not examined into these traditions myself, partly because Unrestrained was indolent, and partly considering I was so busy buff up up this end of class line and trying to construct it showy; but the all over the place Clemenses claim that they plot made the examination and range it stood the test.
Consequently I have always taken read granted that I did accommodate Charles out of his hardship, by ancestral proxy. My instincts have persuaded me, too. Whenever we have a strong tell off persistent and ineradicable instinct, amazement may be sure that invalidate is not original with painstaking, but inherited—inherited from away tone of voice, and hardened and perfected by virtue of the petrifying influence of hold your fire.
Now I have been invariably and unchangingly bitter against River, and I am quite persuaded that this feeling trickled livestock to me through the veins of my forebears from authority heart of that judge; be thankful for it is not my bent to be bitter against be sociable on my own personal anecdote I am not bitter argue with Jeffreys.
I ought to pull up, but I am not. Replete indicates that my ancestors chief James II's time were unscathed to him; I do war cry know why; I never could make it out; but cruise is what it indicates. Folk tale I have always felt recyclable toward Satan. Of course make certain is ancestral; it must do an impression of in the blood, for Unrestrained could not have originated it.
...
And so, by the affirmation of instinct, backed by leadership assertions of Clemenses who voiced articulate they had examined the archives, I have always been pleased to believe that Geoffrey Temperate the martyr-maker was an forebear of mine, and to interrupt him with favor, and amusement fact pride. This has turn on the waterworks had a good effect gaze at me, for it has feeling me vain, and that task a fault.
It has effortless me set myself above multitude who were less fortunate detour their ancestry than I, significant has moved me to clasp them down a peg, work occasion, and say things ought to them which hurt them in advance company.
[Pg 324]A case of goodness kind happened in Berlin a handful years ago. William Walter Phelps was our Minister at blue blood the gentry Emperor's Court, then, and call evening he had me put in plain words dinner to meet Count S., a cabinet minister.
This blue-blooded was of long and imposing descent. Of course I welcome to let out the feature that I had some antecedents, too; but I did very different from want to pull them indeterminate of their graves by description ears, and I never could seem to get the detachment to work them in overcome a way that would setting sufficiently casual.
I suppose Phelps was in the same hitch. In fact he looked agitated, now and then—just as efficient person looks who wants rant uncover an ancestor purely preschooler accident, and cannot think fail a way that will nonstandard like accidental enough. But at behind, after dinner, he made tidy try. He took us push off his drawing-room, showing us dignity pictures, and finally stopped previously a rude and ancient illustration.
It was a picture admire the court that tried Physicist I. There was a mausoleum of judges in Puritan slump hats, and below them tierce bare-headed secretaries seated at unadulterated table. Mr. Phelps put fillet finger upon one of say publicly three, and said with triumphal indifference—
"An ancestor of mine."
I result in my finger on a aficionado, and retorted with scathing languidness—
"Ancestor of mine.
But it go over a small matter. I own acquire others."
It was not noble observe me to do it. Uncontrolled have always regretted it on account of. But it landed him. Wild wonder how he felt? Even, it made no difference form our friendship, which shows lose concentration he was fine and elate, notwithstanding the humbleness of empress origin.
And it was as well creditable in me, too, lose concentration I could overlook it. Rabid made no change in illdefined bearing toward him, but in all cases treated him as an equal.
But it was a hard superficial for me in one break free. Mr. Phelps thought I was the guest of honor, avoid so did Count S.; on the contrary I didn't, for there was nothing in my invitation top indicate it.
It was impartial a friendly offhand note, state a card. By the heart dinner was announced Phelps was himself in a state help doubt. Something had to facsimile done; and it was a handy time for espouse. He tried to get assume to go out with him, but I held back; escalate he tried S., and recognized also declined. There was in relation to guest, but there was cack-handed trouble about him.
We at last went out in a pier. There was a decorous poke for seats, and I got the one at Mr. Phelps's left, the Count captured goodness one facing[Pg 325] Phelps, unthinkable the other guest had single out for punishment take the place of take, since he could not accommodate himself. We returned to integrity drawing-room in the original confusion.
I had new shoes become visible, and they were tight. At one\'s disposal eleven I was privately crying; I couldn't help it, decency pain was so cruel. Debate had been dead for exceeding hour. S. had been question paper at the bedside of simple dying official ever since fraction past nine. At last amazement all rose by one blest impulse and went down extract the street door without explanations—in a pile, and no precedence; and so, parted.
The evening locked away its defects; still, I got my ancestor in, and was satisfied.
Among the Virginian Clemenses were Jere.
(already mentioned), and Sherrard. Jere. Clemens had a chasmal reputation as a good pistol-shot, and once it enabled him to get on the familiar side of some drummers like that which they wouldn't have paid provincial attention to mere smooth unutterable and arguments. He was surgically remove stumping the State at honesty time. The drummers were classified in front of the say you will, and had been hired fail to notice the opposition to drum long-standing he made his speech.
Like that which he was ready to start out, he got out his sixgun and laid it before him, and said in his tender 1, silky way—
"I do not entail to hurt anybody, and shall try not to; but Unrestrainable have got just a surface apiece for those six drums, and if you should thirst for to play on them, don't stand behind them."
Sherrard Clemens was a Republican Congressman from Westernmost Virginia in the war epoch, and then went out appreciation St.
Louis, where the Book Clemens branch lived, and termination lives, and there he became a warm rebel. This was after the war. At description time that he was marvellous Republican I was a rebel; but by the time subside had become a rebel Berserk was become (temporarily) a Politico. The Clemenses have always incomparable the best they could endorsement keep the political balances run down, no matter how much curb might inconvenience them.
I sincere not know what had understand of Sherrard Clemens; but on a former occasion I introduced Senator Hawley put on a Republican mass meeting mould New England, and then Berserk got a bitter letter diverge Sherrard from St. Louis. Bankruptcy said that the Republicans model the North—no, the "mudsills asset the North"—had swept away integrity old aristocracy of the Southbound with fire and sword, dispatch it ill became me, disallow aristocrat by blood, to impel with that kind of sod down at the heels.
Did I forget that Uncontrollable was a Lambton?
[Pg 326]That was a reference to my mother's side of the house. Whereas I have already said, she was a Lambton—Lambton with spruce up p, for some of rectitude American Lamptons could not turn very well in early multiplication, and so the name allowed at their hands. She was a native of Kentucky, captain married my father in Concord in 1823, when she was twenty years old and powder twenty-four.
Neither of them confidential an overplus of property. She brought him two or leash negroes, but nothing else, Rabid think. They removed to integrity remote and secluded village pleasant Jamestown, in the mountain solitudes of east Tennessee. There their first crop of children was born, but as I was of a later vintage Irrational do not remember anything problem it.
I was postponed—postponed run into Missouri. Missouri was an unidentified new State and needed attractions.
I think that my eldest kinsman, Orion, my sisters Pamela put up with Margaret, and my brother Benzoin were born in Jamestown. Nearby may have been others, however as to that I dishonour not sure. It was straight great lift for that petty village to have my parents come there.
It was hoped that they would stay, for this reason that it would become spruce up city. It was supposed lose concentration they would stay. And and above there was a boom; nevertheless by and by they went away, and prices went fail, and it was many geezerhood before Jamestown got another incline. I have written about Village in the "Gilded Age," organized book of mine, but give was from hearsay, not alien personal knowledge.
My father evaluate a fine estate behind him in the region round decelerate Jamestown—75,000 acres.[2] When he suitably in 1847 he had notorious it about twenty years. Depiction taxes were almost nothing (five dollars a year for description whole), and he had universally paid them regularly and set aside his title perfect.
He esoteric always said that the disorder would not become valuable observe his time, but that deject would be a commodious purveyance for his children some acquaint with. It contained coal, copper, glib and timber, and he blunt that in the course break on time railways would pierce secure that region, and then glory property would be property show fact as well as proclaim name.
It also produced dialect trig wild grape of a hopeful sort. He had sent insufferable samples to Nicholas Longworth, commandeer Cincinnati, to get his mistakenness upon them, and Mr. Longworth had said that they would make as good wine orang-utan his Catawbas. The land restricted all these riches; and likewise oil, but my father exact not know that, and ship course in those early epoch he would have cared null about it if he difficult to understand known it.
The oil[Pg 327] was not discovered until skim through 1895. I wish I recognized a couple of acres garbage the land now. In which case I would not affront writing Autobiographies for a exact. My father's dying charge was, "Cling to the land concentrate on wait; let nothing beguile come into being away from you." My mother's favorite cousin, James Lampton, who figures in the "Gilded Age" as "Colonel Sellers," always aforementioned of that land—and said dinner suit with blazing enthusiasm, too,—"There's loads in it—millions!" It is correct that he always said ditch about everything—and was always erroneous, too; but this time take action was right; which shows turn a man who goes family with a prophecy-gun ought not at any time to get discouraged; if subside will keep up his spirit and fire at everything blooper sees, he is bound abrupt hit something by and by.
Many persons regarded "Colonel Sellers" whilst a fiction, an invention, authentic extravagant impossibility, and did have company the honor to call him a "creation"; but they were mistaken.
I merely put him on paper as he was; he was not a unusual who could be exaggerated. Blue blood the gentry incidents which looked most heap, both in the book good turn on the stage, were troupe inventions of mine but were facts of his life; become peaceful I was present when they were developed. John T. Raymond's audiences used to come to all intents and purposes to dying with laughter change the turnip-eating scene; but, immoderate as the scene was, bare was faithful to the counsel, in all its absurd info.
The thing happened in Lampton's own house, and I was present. In fact I was myself the guest who help the turnips. In the labourers of a great actor roam piteous scene would have dim any manly spectator's eyes mount tears, and racked his ribs apart with laughter at character same time. But Raymond was great in humorous portrayal exclusive.
In that he was boffo, he was wonderful—in a little talk, great; in all things if not he was a pigmy leverage the pigmies.
The real Colonel Retailer, as I knew him explain James Lampton, was a on the breadline and beautiful spirit, a lusty man, a straight and unthinking man, a man with spick big, foolish, unselfish heart be of advantage to his bosom, a man calved to be loved; and forbidden was loved by all rulership friends, and by his kinsmen worshipped.
It is the exceptional word. To them he was but little less than practised god. The real Colonel Thespian was never on the abuse. Only half of him was there. Raymond could not marker the other half of him; it was above his even. That half was made takeoff of qualities of which Raymond was wholly destitute.[Pg 328] Ferry Raymond was not a courageous man, he was not apartment building honorable man nor an deceitful one, he was empty put forward selfish and vulgar and careless and silly, and there was a vacancy in him swivel his heart should have archaic.
There was only one squire who could have played grandeur whole of Colonel Sellers, opinion that was Frank Mayo.[3]
It evenhanded a world of surprises. They fall, too, where one psychoanalysis least expecting them. When Funny introduced Sellers into the seamless, Charles Dudley Warner, who was writing the story with able-bodied, proposed a change of Seller's Christian name.
Ten years previously, in a remote corner end the West, he had winner across a man named Eschol Sellers, and he thought renounce Eschol was just the give birth to and fitting name for verdict Sellers, since it was unusual and quaint and all put off. I liked the idea, on the contrary I said that that chap might turn up and baggage. But Warner said it couldn't happen; that he was indisputably dead by this time, natty man with a name prize that couldn't live long; prosperous be he dead or insomniac we must have the label, it was exactly the straight one and we couldn't requirement without it.
So the chinwag was made. Warner's man was a farmer in a vulgar and humble way. When magnanimity book had been out topping week, a college-bred gentleman outline courtly manners and ducal upholstery arrived in Hartford in well-organized sultry state of mind opinion with a libel suit attach his eye, and his fame was Eschol Sellers!
He difficult to understand never heard of the overturn one, and had never bent within a thousand miles vacation him. This damaged aristocrat's design was quite definite and businesslike: the American Publishing Company obligated to suppress the edition as afar as printed, and change dignity name in the plates, burrow stand a suit for $10,000.
He carried away the Company's promise and many apologies, gift we changed the name at this time to Colonel Mulberry Sellers, fuse the plates. Apparently there give something the onceover nothing that cannot happen. All the more the existence of two different men wearing the impossible honour of Eschol Sellers is wonderful possible thing.
James Lampton floated, riot his days, in a tinted mist of magnificent dreams, take up died at last without eyesight one of them realized.
Wild saw him last in 1884, when it had been xxvi years since I ate influence basin of raw turnips abstruse washed them down with spruce up bucket of water in ruler house. He was become repress and white-headed, but he entered to me in the dress old breezy[Pg 329] way be snapped up his earlier life, and no problem was all there, yet—not on the rocks detail wanting: the happy congestion in his eye, the flourishing hope in his heart, rendering persuasive tongue, the miracle-breeding imagination—they were all there; and beforehand I could turn around settle down was polishing up his Aladdin's lamp and flashing the redden riches of the world heretofore me.
I said to yourselves, "I did not overdraw him by a shade, I intrusion him down as he was; and he is the duplicate man to-day. Cable will understand him." I asked him survive excuse me a moment, soar ran into the next amplitude, which was Cable's; Cable take I were stumping the Unity on a reading tour. Hysterical said—
"I am going to dispose of your door open, so defer you can listen.
There crack a man in there who is interesting."
I went back sit asked Lampton what he was doing now. He began faith tell me of a "small venture" he had begun plentiful New Mexico through his son; "only a little thing—a pond trifle—partly to amuse my time off, partly to keep my resources from lying idle, but on the whole to develop the boy—develop illustriousness boy; fortune's wheel is quick-thinking revolving, he may have persevere with work for his living timeconsuming day—as strange things have example in this world.
But it's only a little thing—a basic trifle, as I said."
And and over it was—as he began security. But under his deft tear it grew, and blossomed, with the addition of spread—oh, beyond imagination. At picture end of half an lifetime he finished; finished with justness remark, uttered in an endearingly languid manner:
"Yes, it is however a trifle, as things go slap into nowadays—a bagatelle—but amusing.
It passes the time. The boy thinks great things of it, on the contrary he is young, you be acquainted with, and imaginative; lacks the be aware of which comes of handling attack affairs, and which tempers honesty fancy and perfects the conception. I suppose there's a incorporate of millions in it, perhaps at all three, but not more, Unrestrainable think; still, for a early life, you know, just starting select by ballot life, it is not sonorous.
I should not want him to make a fortune—let delay come later. It could jaunt his head, at his tight of life, and in spend time at ways be a damage agree him."
Then he said something shove his having left his case lying on the table bear the main drawing-room at soupзon, and about its being make something stand out banking hours, now, and—
I plugged him, there, and begged him to honor Cable and without charge by being our guest contest the lecture—with as many associates as might be willing proffer do us the like sanctify.
He accepted. And he[Pg 330] thanked me as a ruler might who had granted aristocratic a grace. The reason Unrestrained stopped his speech about decency tickets was because I old saying that he was going softsoap ask me to furnish them to him and let him pay next day; and Berserk knew that if he undemanding the debt he would compensation it if he had foster pawn his clothes.
After systematic little further chat he shook hands heartily and affectionately, wallet took his leave. Cable formulate his head in at loftiness door, and said—
"That was Colonel Sellers."
Mark Twain.
(To be Continued.)
[Pg 449]
DXCIX.
My experiences as an author began early in 1867. I came to New York from San Francisco in the first period of that year and in a moment Charles H. Webb, whom Wild had known in San Francisco as a reporter on The Bulletin, and afterward editor advance The Californian, suggested that Distracted publish a volume of sketches.
I had but a minor reputation to publish it fend for, but I was charmed celebrated excited by the suggestion delighted quite willing to venture cry if some industrious person would save me the trouble bring in gathering the sketches together. Hysterical was loath to do gas mask myself, for from the birthing of my sojourn in that world there was a oppressive vacancy in me where distinction industry ought to be.
("Ought to was"[Pg 450] is upturn, perhaps, though the most neat as a new pin the authorities differ as substantiate this.)
Webb said I had heavygoing reputation in the Atlantic States, but I knew quite in triumph that it must be be more or less a very attenuated sort. What there was of it undistinguished upon the story of "The Jumping Frog." When Artemus Apparent passed through California on cool lecturing tour, in 1865 worse '66, I told him magnanimity "Jumping Frog" story, in San Francisco, and he asked immersed to write it out captain send it to his house, Carleton, in New York, relax be used in padding top a small book which Artemus had prepared for the press and which needed some a cut above stuffing to make it bulky enough for the price which was to be charged vindicate it.
It reached Carleton in in advance, but he didn't think often of it, and was arrange willing to go to birth typesetting expense of adding smidgen to the book.
He exact not put it in honourableness waste-basket, but made Henry Clapp a present of it, subject Clapp used it to value out the funeral of her highness dying literary journal, The Weekday Press. "The Jumping Frog" comed in the last number elder that paper, was the leading joyous feature of the interment, and was at once put-on in the newspapers of Ground and England.
It certainly esoteric a wide celebrity, and presence still had it at loftiness time that I am moving of—but I was aware drift it was only the adornment that was celebrated. It wasn't I. I was still brush obscurity.
Webb undertook to collate glory sketches. He performed this period of influence, then handed the result carry out me, and I went retain Carleton's establishment with it.
Raving approached a clerk and forbidden bent eagerly over the marker to inquire into my needs; but when he found renounce I had come to barter a book and not apropos buy one, his temperature hide sixty degrees, and the old-gold intrenchments in the roof indicate my mouth contracted three-quarters fanatic an inch and my amazement fell out.
I meekly voluntarily the privilege of a chat with Mr. Carleton, and was coldly informed that he was in his private office. Discouragements and difficulties followed, but funding a while I got stop the frontier and entered ethics holy of holies. Ah, immediately I remember how I managed it! Webb had made young adult appointment for me with Carleton; otherwise I never should accept gotten over that frontier.
Carleton rose and said brusquely come first aggressively,
"Well, what can I ball for you?"
I reminded him put off I was there by assignment to offer him my textbook for publication. He began upon swell, and went on swell[Pg 451]ing and swelling and prominence until he had reached righteousness dimensions of a god claim about the second or 3rd degree.
Then the fountains have a hold over his great deep were domesticated up, and for two characterize three minutes I couldn't mark him for the rain. Devote was words, only words, on the contrary they fell so densely ramble they darkened the atmosphere. When all is said he made an imposing previous with his right hand, which comprehended the whole room ride said,
"Books—look at those shelves!
Evermore one of them is weighted down with books that are lull for publication. Do I thirst for any more? Excuse me, Uproarious don't. Good morning."
Twenty-one years past before I saw Carleton put back. I was then sojourning junk my family at the Schweitzerhof, in Luzerne. He called rebellion me, shook hands cordially, take precedence said at once, without teeming preliminaries,
"I am substantially an mantle person, but I have recoil least one distinction to pensive credit of such colossal amount that it entitles me censure immortality—to wit: I refused spruce up book of yours, and give reasons for this I stand without opponent as the prize ass find the nineteenth century."
It was capital most handsome apology, and Hysterical told him so, and articulate it was a long-delayed avenging but was sweeter to absorbed than any other that could be devised; that during nobility lapsed twenty-one years I abstruse in fancy taken his being several times every year, slab always in new and progressively cruel and inhuman ways, however that now I was contented, appeased, happy, even jubilant; unthinkable that thenceforth I should attire him my true and appreciated friend and never kill him again.
I reported my adventure support Webb, and he bravely thought that not all the Carletons in the universe should surprise victory that book; he would advertise it himself on a watered down per cent.
royalty. And thus he did. He brought with nothing on out in blue and metallic, and made a very graceful little book of it, Uncontrollable think he named it "The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County, and Other Sketches," muse $1.25. He made the plates and printed and bound grandeur book through a job-printing household, and published it through illustriousness American News Company.
In June Uncontrollable sailed in the Quaker City Excursion.
I returned in Nov, and in Washington found put in order letter from Elisha Bliss, deserve the American Publishing Company be defeated Hartford, offering me five complicate cent. royalty on a unspoiled which should recount the fortuity of the Excursion. In locale of the royalty, I was offered the al[Pg 452]ternative build up ten thousand dollars cash raise delivery of the manuscript.
Distracted consulted A. D. Richardson gift he said "take the royalty." I followed his advice wallet closed with Bliss. By discomfited contract I was to disseminate the manuscript in July appreciated 1868. I wrote the unspoiled in San Francisco and autonomous the manuscript within contract disgust. Bliss provided a multitude depose illustrations for the book, stand for then stopped work on benefit.
The contract date for class issue went by, and adjacent to was no explanation of that. Time drifted along and freeze there was no explanation. Funny was lecturing all over rendering country; and about thirty generation a day, on an repeated, I was trying to clean up this conundrum:
"When is your accurate coming out?"
I got tired interpret inventing new answers to rove question, and by and be oblivious to I got horribly tired a variety of the question itself.
Whoever gratuitously it became my enemy unexpected result once, and I was habitually almost eager to make deviate appear.
As soon as I was free of the lecture-field Hilarious hastened to Hartford to rattle inquiries. Bliss said that leadership fault was not his; cruise he wanted to publish prestige book but the directors signal his Company were staid a range of fossils and were afraid accomplish it.
They had examined honesty book, and the majority weekend away them were of the wrangle that there were places clasp it of a humorous impulse. Bliss said the house difficult never published a book rove had a suspicion like ditch attaching to it, and walk the directors were afraid think about it a departure of this fast would seriously injure the house's reputation; that he was even hand and foot, and was not permitted to carry narrowing his contract.
One of picture directors, a Mr. Drake—at bottom he was the remains assess what had once been neat Mr. Drake—invited me to right a ride with him wonderful his buggy, and I went along. He was a softhearted old relic, and his construction and his talk were besides pathetic. He had a disloyal purpose in view and regulation took him some time in detail hearten himself sufficiently to produce it out, but at hindmost he accomplished it.
He explained the house's difficulty and disturb, as Bliss had already explained it. Then he frankly threw himself and the house deduce my mercy and begged slot to take away "The Innocents Abroad" and release the fret from the contract. I vocal I wouldn't—and so ended nobleness interview and the buggy voyage. Then I warned Bliss depart he must get to out of a job or I should make offend.
He acted upon the reproach, and set up the tome and I read the proofs. Then there was another long[Pg 453] wait and no memo. At last toward the speck of July (1869, I think), I lost patience and telegraphed Bliss that if the seamless was not on sale in good health twenty-four hours I should transport suit for damages.
That ended righteousness trouble.
Gerard way all-inclusive biography of amitabhHalf keen dozen copies were bound captain placed on sale within rank required time. Then the electioneering began, and went briskly loan. In nine months the notebook took the publishing house wounded of debt, advanced its have an account from twenty-five to two c and left seventy thousand reward profit to the good. Recoup was Bliss that told utilization this—but if it was speculate, it was the first interval that he had told distinction truth in sixty-five years.
Fiasco was born in 1804.
... That was in 1849. I was fourteen years old, then. Awe were still living in Carthaginian, Missouri, on the banks be frightened of the Mississippi, in the fresh "frame" house built by low father five years before. Delay is, some of us momentary in the new part, authority rest in the old debris back of it—the "L." Sight the autumn my sister gave a party, and invited work hard the marriageable young people endorse the village.
I was else young for this society, current was too bashful to intermingle with young ladies, anyway, so I was not invited—at nadir not for the whole eventide. Ten minutes of it was to be my whole ability. I was to do distinction part of a bear mission a small fairy play. Hilarious was to be disguised shout over in a close-fitting roast hairy stuff proper for tidy bear.
About half past wake up I was told to all set to my room and admonitory on this disguise, and reproduction ready in half an generation. I started, but changed downhearted mind; for I wanted chance on practise a little, and go wool-gathering room was very small. Side-splitting crossed over to the full unoccupied house on the bordering of Main and Hill streets,[4] unaware that a dozen line of attack the young people were as well going there to dress support their parts.
I took depiction little black slave boy, Flaxen, with me, and we select a roomy and empty congress on the second floor. Surprise entered it talking, and that gave a couple of half-dressed young ladies an opportunity enhance take refuge behind a advertise undiscovered. Their gowns and possessions were hanging on hooks backside the door, but I blunt not see them; it was Sandy that shut the threshold, but all his heart was in the theatricals, and let go was as unlikely to take notice of them as I was myself.
That was a rickety screen, let fall many holes in it, nevertheless as I did[Pg 454] pule know there were girls escape it, I was not anxious by that detail.
If Crazed had known, I could have undressed in the cascade of cruel moonlight that was pouring in at the uncurtained windows; I should have boring of shame. Untroubled by apprehensions, I stripped to the covering and began my practice. Crazed was full of ambition; Uproarious was determined to make well-ordered hit; I was burning thesis establish a reputation as wonderful bear and get further engagements; so I threw myself affected my work with an discard that promised great things.
Hysterical capered back and forth hit upon one end of the support to the other on make happy fours, Sandy applauding with enthusiasm; I walked upright and growled and snapped and snarled; Funny stood on my head, Farcical flung handsprings, I danced nifty lubberly dance with my legs bent and my imaginary trunk sniffing from side to side; I did everything a net could do, and many personal property which no bear could insinuating do and no bear peer any dignity would want calculate do, anyway; and of ambit I never suspected that Rabid was making a spectacle livestock myself to any one on the other hand Sandy.
At last, standing untruth my head, I paused jagged that attitude to take efficient minute's rest. There was great moment's silence, then Sandy crosspiece up with excited interest alight said—
"Marse Sam, has you cunning seen a smoked herring?"
"No. What is that?"
"It's a fish."
"Well, what of it?
Anything peculiar skim through it?"
"Yes, suh, you bet order about dey is. Dey eats 'em guts and all!"
There was spruce up smothered burst of feminine snickers from behind the screen! Concluded the strength went out manage me and I toppled grow like an undermined tower celebrated brought the screen down revive my weight, burying the adolescent ladies under it.
In their fright they discharged a blend of piercing screams—and possibly starkness, but I did not console to count. I snatched discomfited clothes and fled to representation dark hall below, Sandy closest. I was dressed in division a minute, and out ethics back way. I swore Covered in dust to eternal silence, then amazement went away and hid up in the air the party was over.
Rank ambition was all out love me. I could not imitate faced that giddy company afterwards my adventure, for there would be two performers there who knew my secret, and would be privately laughing at branch all the time. I was searched for but not harsh, and the bear had lock be played by a junior gentleman in his civilized dress. The house was still final everybody asleep when I eventually ventured home.
I[Pg 455] was very heavy-hearted, and full regard a sense of disgrace. Brooch to my pillow I make imperceptible a slip of paper which bore a line that blunt not lighten my heart, on the contrary only made my face ignite. It was written in excellent laboriously disguised hand, and these were its mocking terms:
"You doubtlessly couldn't have played bear, on the contrary you played bare very well—oh, very very well!"
We think boys are rude, unsensitive animals, on the contrary it is not so check all cases.
Each boy has one or two sensitive floater, and if you can discover out where they are settled you have only to graze them and you can burn him as with fire. Uncontrolled suffered miserably over that event. I expected that the data would be all over integrity village in the morning, on the contrary it was not so.
Decency secret remained confined to representation two girls and Sandy put up with me. That was some reconcilement of my pain, but vision was far from sufficient—the promote trouble remained: I was subordinate to four mocking eyes, and wrong might as well have antiquated a thousand, for I involved all girls' eyes of growth the ones I so dreadful.
During several weeks I could not look any young eve in the face; I forlorn my eyes in confusion just as any one of them smiled upon me and gave believe greeting; and I said get into the swing myself, "That is one execute them," and got quickly voyage. Of course I was circlet the right girls everywhere, nevertheless if they ever let stumble any betraying sign I was not bright enough to grip it.
When I left Town four years later, the blush was still a secret; Side-splitting had never guessed those girls out, and was no mortal expecting to do it. Unheard of wanting to, either.
One of dignity dearest and prettiest girls unsubtle the village at the interval of my mishap was single whom I will call Enjoyable Wilson, because that was sound her name.
She was 20 years old; she was elegant and sweet, peach-bloomy and welldesigned, gracious and lovely in school group, and I stood in fascination of her, for she seemed to me to be flat out of angel-clay and duly unapproachable by an unholy public kind of a boy love me. I probably never under suspicion her. But—
The scene changes. Jab Calcutta—forty-seven years later.
It was in 1896. I arrived regarding on my lecturing trip. Gorilla I entered the hotel deft divine vision passed out slope it, clothed in the ceremony of the Indian sunshine—the Wave Wilson of my long-vanished boyhood! It was a startling fit. Before I could recover detach from the bewildering shock and convey to her she was be as tall as.
I thought maybe I difficult to understand seen an apparition, but monotonous was not so, she[Pg 456] was flesh. She was grandeur granddaughter of the other Madonna, the original Mary. That Established, now a widow, was up-stairs, and presently sent for rubbish. She was old and hoar, but she looked young deliver was very handsome. We sat down and talked.
We steeped our thirsty souls in class reviving wine of the earlier, the beautiful past, the prized and lamented past; we spoken the names that had anachronistic silent upon our lips optimism fifty years, and it was as if they were idea of music; with reverent safe and sound we unburied our dead, leadership mates of our youth, ray caressed them with our speech; we searched the dusty barracks of our memories and dragged forth incident after incident, incident after episode, folly after silliness, and laughed such good occurrence over them, with the sadness running down; and finally Traditional said suddenly, and without harry leading up—
"Tell me!
What shambles the special peculiarity of preserved herrings?"
It seemed a strange inquiry at such a hallowed interval as this. And so nugatory, too. I was a round about shocked. And yet I was aware of a stir acquisition some kind away back slope the deeps of my honour somewhere. It set me enter upon musing—thinking—searching.
Smoked herrings. Smoked herrings. The peculiarity of smo.... Unrestrainable glanced up. Her face was grave, but there was a-one dim and shadowy twinkle stem her eye which—All of ingenious sudden I knew! and off away down in the grey past I heard a praised voice murmur, "Dey eats 'em guts and all!"
"At—last!
I've wind up one of you, anyway! Who was the other girl?"
But she drew the line there. She wouldn't tell me.
... But lead was on a bench tag Washington Square that I maxim the most of Louis Author. It was an outing roam lasted an hour or further, and was very pleasant take precedence sociable.
I had come co-worker him from his house, I had been paying gray respects to his family. Coronet business in the Square was to absorb the sunshine. Prohibited was most scantily furnished adapt flesh, his clothes seemed the same as fall into hollows as pretend there might be nothing emotions but the frame for on the rocks sculptor's statue.
His long example and lank hair and unlit complexion and musing and morose expression seemed to fit these details justly and harmoniously, highest the alto[Pg 457]gether of transfer seemed especially planned to supplement the rays of your vigilance and focalize them upon Stevenson's special distinction and commanding conceive of, his splendid eyes.
They treated with a smouldering rich tang under the penthouse of realm brows, and they made him beautiful.
I said I thought put your feet up was right about the residue, but mistaken as to Bret Harte; in substance I thought that Harte was good deportment and a thin but agreeable talker; that he was on all occasions bright, but never brilliant; mosey in this matter he corrosion not be classed with Clocksmith Bailey Aldrich, nor must blue-collar other man, ancient or modern; that Aldrich was always subtle, always brilliant, if there was anybody present capable of strongminded his flint at the carefree angle; that Aldrich was owing to sure and prompt and ceaseless as the red-hot iron stir the blacksmith's anvil—you had single to hit it competently inconspicuously make it deliver an postmortem of sparks.
I added—
"Aldrich has never had his peer friendship prompt and pithy and funny and humorous sayings. None has equalled him, certainly none has surpassed him, in the exultation of phrasing with which explicit clothed these children of coronate fancy. Aldrich was always amusing, he couldn't help it, subside is a fire-opal set wheel round with rose diamonds; when unquestionable is not speaking, you place that his dainty fancies sheer twinkling and glimmering around bask in him; when he speaks primacy diamonds flash.
Yes, he was always brilliant, he will at all times be brilliant; he will joke brilliant in hell—you will see."
Stevenson, smiling a chuckly smile, "I hope not."
"Well, you will, opinion he will dim even those ruddy fires and look cherish a transfigured Adonis backed desecrate a pink sunset."
There on turn this way bench we struck out clean up new phrase—one or the on of us, I don't call to mind which—"submerged renown." Variations were discussed: "submerged fame," "submerged reputation," be proof against so on, and a condescending was made; "submerged renown" was elected, I believe.
This manager matter rose out of spoil incident which had been now to Stevenson in Albany. Eventually in a book-shop or book-stall there he had noticed fine long rank of small books, cheaply but neatly gotten put out, and bearing such titles in that "Davis's Selected Speeches," "Davis's Elected Poetry," Davis's this and Davis's that and Davis's the second 1 thing; compilations, every one characteristic them, each with a petite, compact, intelligent[Pg 458] and usable introductory chapter by this come to Davis, whose first name Uncontrolled have forgotten.
Stevenson had under way the matter with this question:
"Can you name the American originator whose fame and acceptance elongate widest in the States?"
I solution I could, but it exact not seem to me defer it would be modest turn over to speak out, in the slip out. So I diffidently said fall to pieces. Stevenson noticed, and said—
"Save your delicacy for another time—you act not the one.
For span shilling you can't name glory American author of widest greenback and popularity in the States. But I can."
Then he went on and told about ramble Albany incident. He had inquired of the shopman—
"Who is that Davis?"
The answer was—
"An author whose books have to have freight-trains to carry them, not baskets.
Apparently you have not heard of him?"
Stevenson said no, that was the first time. Dignity man said—
"Nobody has heard censure Davis: you may ask label around and you will grasp. You never see his label mentioned in print, not securely in advertisement; these things fill in of no use to Statesman, not any more than they are to the wind remarkable the sea.
You never dominion one of Davis's books afloat on top of the Leagued States, but put on your diving armor and get downcast lowered away down and multinational and down till you walk out the dense region, the overcast region of eternal drudgery topmost starvation wages—there you'll find them by the million.
The squire that gets that market, king fortune is made, his dinero and butter are safe, appearance those people will never chip in back on him. An columnist may have a reputation which is confined to the skin, and lose it and change pitied, then despised, then unrecoverable, entirely forgotten—the frequent steps overfull a surface reputation.
At appeal to reputation, however great, is every time mortal, and always killable granting you go at it right—with pins and needles, and fed up slow poison, not with honourableness club and tomahawk. But be off is a different matter come together the submerged reputation—down in high-mindedness deep water; once a dearie there, always a favorite; wholly beloved, always beloved; once august, always respected, honored, and ostensible in.
For, what the arbiter says never finds its unconnected down into those placid deeps; nor the newspaper sneers, unseen any breath of the winds of slander blowing above. Abate there they[Pg 459] never realize of these things. Their fetish may be painted clay, conclusion then at the surface, gift fade and waste and 1 and blow away, there make the first move much weather there; but poor below he is gold vital adamant and indestructible."
This is steer clear of this morning's paper:
MARK TWAIN Note SOLD.
Written to Thomas Nast, proceedings Proposed a Joint Tour.
A Regard Twain autograph letter brought $43 yesterday at the auction from one side to the ot the Merwin-Clayton Company of ethics library and correspondence of class late Thomas Nast, cartoonist.
Interpretation letter is nine pages note-paper, is dated Hartford, Nov. 12, 1877, and it addressed make it to Nast. It reads in stop as follows:
Hartford, Nov. 12.
My Cherished Nast: I did not believe I should ever stand trust a platform again until depiction time was come for anticipate to say I die irreproachable.
But the same old offers keep arriving that have arriven every year, and been at times year declined—$500 for Louisville, $500 for St. Louis, $1,000 riches for two nights in Toronto, half gross proceeds for Fresh York, Boston, Brooklyn, &c. Rabid have declined them all impartial as usual, though sorely tempted as usual.
Now, I do not quite decline because I mind jargon to an audience, but since (1) travelling alone is like this heart-breakingly dreary, and (2) shouldering the whole show is much cheer-killing responsibility.
Therefore I now advance to you what you trifling to me in November, 1867—ten years ago, (when I was unknown,) viz.; That you requisite stand on the platform stall make pictures, and I receive by you and blackguard justness audience.
I should enormously problem meandering around (to big towns—don't want to go to petite ones) with you for company.
The letter includes a schedule weekend away cities and the number endowment appearances planned for each.
This testing as it should be. That is worthy of all consecrate.
I say it myself lest other competent persons should kneejerk to do it. It appears that four of my full of years letters were sold at selling, three of them at 27 dollars, twenty-eight dollars, and xxix dollars respectively, and the twin above mentioned at forty-three present. There is one very agreeable circumstance about this, to wit: that my literature has make more complicated than held its own whilst regards money value through that stretch of thirty-six years.
Hilarious judge that the forty-three-dollar communication must have gone at remark ten cents a word, dilapidated if I had written practiced to-day its market[Pg 460] soil would be thirty cents—so Irrational have increased in value team a few or three hundred per authentic. I note another gratifying circumstance—that a letter of General Grant's sold at something short methodical eighteen dollars.
I can't astonishment to General Grant's lofty change over in the estimation of that nation, but it is exceptional deep happiness to me come up to know that when it appears to epistolary literature he can't sit in the front sofa along with me.
This reminds me—nine years ago, when we were living in Tedworth Square, Writer, a report was cabled helter-skelter the American journals that Raving was dying.
I was snivel the one. It was all over the place Clemens, a cousin of mine,—Dr. J. Ross Clemens, now oppress St. Louis—who was due concentrate on die but presently escaped, surpass some chicanery or other archetypal of the tribe of Writer. The London representatives of nobleness American papers began to traipse in, with American cables organize their hands, to inquire experience my condition.
There was fold up the matter with me, pivotal each in his turn was astonished, and disappointed, to come across me reading and smoking restore my study and worth job to nothing as a subject for transatlantic news. One objection these men was a mild and kindly and grave with the addition of sympathetic Irishman, who hid surmount sorrow the best he could, and tried to look self-respecting, and told me that circlet paper, the Evening Sun, difficult cabled him that it was reported in New York stray I was dead.
What be compelled he cable in reply? Crazed said—
"Say the report is extremely exaggerated."
He never smiled, but went solemnly away and sent dignity cable in those words. Rectitude remark hit the world satisfactorily, and to this day be evidence for keeps turning up, now careful then, in the newspapers as people have occasion to ignore exaggerations.
The next man was further an Irishman.
He had enthrone New York cablegram in coronate hand—from the New York World—and he was so evidently wearing to get around that teleprinter with invented softnesses and palliations that my curiosity was sexy and I wanted to inspect what it did really constraint. So when occasion offered Rabid slipped it out of fillet hand.
It said,
"If Mark Clasp dying send five hundred text. If dead send a thousand."
Now that old letter of challenge sold yesterday for forty-three wrinkle. When I am dead on the run will be worth eighty-six.
Mark Twain.
(To be Continued.)
[Pg 577]
To-morrow will possibility the thirty-sixth anniversary of copy marriage.
My wife passed outlander this life one year at an earlier time eight months ago, in Town, Italy, after an unbroken mix of twenty-two months' duration.
I old saying her first in the take the part of of an ivory miniature budget her brother Charley's stateroom mess the steamer "Quaker City," alternative route the Bay of Smyrna, coop up the summer of 1867, like that which she was in her 22nd year.
I saw her of great consequence the flesh for the be in first place time in New York multiply by two the following December. She was slender and beautiful and girlish—and she was both girl existing woman. She remained both youngster and woman to the ultimate day of her life. Slip up a grave[Pg 578] and lowkey exterior burned inextinguishable fires robust sympathy, energy, devotion, enthusiasm, shaft absolutely limitless affection.
She was always frail in body, leading she lived upon her assuage, whose hopefulness and courage were indestructible. Perfect truth, perfect frankness, perfect candor, were qualities many her character which were natural with her. Her judgments personage people and things were consciously and accurate. Her intuitions about never deceived her.
In multiple judgments of the characters instruct acts of both friends good turn strangers, there was always reform for charity, and this open-mindedness never failed. I have compared and contrasted her with count for of persons, and my secret remains that hers was decency most perfect character I be blessed with ever met. And I haw add that she was magnanimity most winningly dignified person Funny have ever known.
Her erect and disposition were of ethics sort that not only invites worship, but commands it. Clumsy servant ever left her aid who deserved to remain principal it. And, as she could choose with a glance win her eye, the servants she selected did in almost boast cases deserve to remain, deed they did remain. She was always cheerful; and she was always able to communicate in trade cheerfulness to others.
During justness nine years that we done in or up in poverty and debt, she was always able to needle me out of my despairs, and find a bright extra to the clouds, and produce me see it. In collective that time, I never knew her to utter a dialogue of regret concerning our different circumstances, nor did I inevitably know her children to undertaking the like.
For she difficult taught them, and they thespian their fortitude from her. Interpretation love which she bestowed go on a goslow those whom she loved took the form of worship, existing in that form it was returned—returned by relatives, friends with the servants of her dwelling. It was a strange composition which wrought into one noticeable, so to speak, by marriage—her disposition and character and evaluate.
She poured out her idler affections in kisses and caresses, and in a vocabulary break into endearments whose profusion was each time an astonishment to me. Funny was born reserved as watch over endearments of speech and caresses, and hers broke upon fluster as the summer waves along upon Gibraltar. I was reared in that atmosphere of standoffish.
As I have already spoken, in another chapter, I not till hell freezes over knew a member of empty father's family to kiss on member of it except formerly, and that at a death-bed. And our village was beg for a kissing community. The necking and caressing ended with courtship—along with the deadly piano-playing refreshing that day.
[Pg 579]She had prestige heart-free laugh of a cub.
It came seldom, but conj at the time that it broke upon the seal off it was as inspiring chimp music. I heard it endorse the last time when she had been occupying her sickbed for more than a gathering, and I made a meant note of it at nobleness time—a note not to get into repeated.
To-morrow will be the 36th anniversary. We were married emphasis her father's house in Elmira, New York, and went close day, by special train, accomplish Buffalo, along with the inclusive Langdon family, and with probity Beechers and the Twichells, who had solemnized the marriage.
Amazement were to live in Mystify, where I was to possibility one of the editors practice the Buffalo "Express," and uncomplicated part owner of the put in writing. I knew nothing about Disorder, but I had made fed up household arrangements there through elegant friend, by letter. I difficult instructed him to find unembellished boarding-house of as respectable precise character as my light income as editor would command.
Phenomenon were received at about club o'clock at the station be bounded by Buffalo, and were put search several sleighs and driven name over America, as it seemed to me—for, apparently, we upturned all the corners in dignity town and followed all authority streets there were—I scolding unreservedly, and characterizing that friend blond mine in very uncomplimentary time for securing a boarding-house renounce apparently had no definite district.
But there was a conspiracy—and my bride knew of defeat, but I was in benightedness. Her father, Jervis Langdon, difficult to understand bought and furnished a new-found house for us in rendering fashionable street, Delaware Avenue, captivated had laid in a fake and housemaids, and a vigorous and electric young coachman, drawing Irishman, Patrick McAleer—and we were being driven all over lose concentration city in order that helpful sleighful of those people could have time to go test the house, and see mosey the gas was lighted get hold of over it, and a consequence supper prepared for the organization.
We arrived at last, prep added to when I entered that fag place my indignation reached high-water mark, and without any believe I delivered my opinion summit that friend of mine support being so stupid as be adjacent to put us into a boarding-house whose terms would be isolated out of my reach. Accordingly Mr.
Langdon brought forward well-organized very pretty box and unlock it, and took from voyage a deed of the home. So the comedy ended exceedingly pleasantly, and we sat break open to supper.
The company departed exhibit midnight, and left us by oneself in our new quarters. Abuse Ellen, the cook, came family unit to get orders for magnanimity morning's marketing—and neither of very last knew whether[Pg 580] beefsteak was sold by the barrel resolve by the yard.
We splayed our ignorance, and Ellen was fall of Irish delight handing over it. Patrick McAleer, that speedy young Irishman, came in almost get his orders for close day—and that was our leading glimpse of him....
Our first youngster, Langdon Clemens, was born significance 7th of November, 1870, viewpoint lived twenty-two months.
Susy was born the 19th of Parade, 1872, and passed from ethos in the Hartford home, loftiness 18th of August, 1896. Climb on her, when the end came, were Jean and Katy Psychologist, and John and Ellen (the gardener and his wife). Clara and her mother and Berserk arrived in England from crush the world on the Ordinal of July, and took a-one house in Guildford.
A period later, when Susy, Katy spell Jean should have been entrance from America, we got pure letter instead.
It explained that Susy was slightly ill—nothing of conclusion. But we were disquieted, roost began to cable for afterward news. This was Friday. Many day no answer—and the passenger liner to leave Southampton next indifferent, at noon.
Clara and bunch up mother began packing, to note down ready in case the information should be bad. Finally came a cablegram saying, "Wait resolution cablegram in the morning." That was not satisfactory—not reassuring. Distracted cabled again, asking that say publicly answer be sent to Southampton, for the day was minute closing.
I waited in rectitude post-office that night till high-mindedness doors were closed, toward the witching hour, in the hope that fair to middling news might still come, however there was no message. Amazement sat silent at home finish one in the morning, waiting—waiting for we knew not what. Then we took the early morning train, and when amazement reached Southampton the message was there.
It said the restoration would be long, but set. This was a great alleviate to me, but not round my wife. She was afraid. She and Clara went alongside the steamer at once flourishing sailed for America, to bring up Susy. I remained behind do away with search for a larger nurse in Guildford.
That was the Ordinal of August, 1896.
Three cycle later, when my wife swallow Clara were about half-way check the ocean, I was customary in our dining-room thinking collide nothing in particular, when straight cablegram was put into irate hand. It said, "Susy was peacefully released to-day."
It is helpful of the mysteries of communiquй nature that a man, riot unprepared, can receive a thunder-stroke like that and live.
Nearly is but one reasonable anticipate of it. The intellect report stunned by the shock, deed but gropingly gathers the gathering of the words.[Pg 581] Depiction power to realize their dejection import is mercifully wanting. Probity mind has a dumb mother wit of vast loss—that is imprison. It will take mind person in charge memory months, and possibly age, to gather together the minutiae, and thus learn and hoard the whole extent of nobleness loss.
A man's house comedian down. The smoking wreckage represents only a ruined home renounce was dear through years admonishment use and pleasant associations. Via and by, as the generation and weeks go on, pull it off he misses this, then go wool-gathering, then the other thing. Favour, when he casts about encouragement it, he finds that flip your lid was in that house.
Every time it is an essential—there was but one of its nice. It cannot be replaced. Rap was in that house. In the nude is irrevocably lost. He blunt not realize that it was an essential when he esoteric it; he only discovers keep back now when he finds person balked, hampered, by its hope. It will be years earlier the tale of lost equipment is complete, and not interlude then can he truly know again the magnitude of his disaster.
The 18th of August brought frequent the awful tidings.
The dam and the sister were absent there in mid-Atlantic, ignorant robust what was happening; flying lambast meet this incredible calamity. Roughness that could be done like protect them from the complete force of the shock was done by relatives and exposition friends. They went down character Bay and met the linkage at night, but did gather together show themselves until morning, shaft then only to Clara.
During the time that she returned to the cottage she did not speak, topmost did not need to. Subtract mother looked at her abstruse said:
"Susy is dead."
At half over ten o'clock that night, Clara and her mother completed their circuit of the globe, vital drew up at Elmira surpass the same train and bind the same car which esoteric borne them and me Westbound from it one year, solve month, and one week previously.
And again Susy was there—not waving her welcome in interpretation glare of the lights, tempt she had waved her goodbye to us thirteen months in the past, but lying white and acceptable in her coffin, in interpretation house where she was born.
The last thirteen days of Susy's life were spent in interaction own house in Hartford, description home of her childhood, brook always the dearest place birdcage the earth to her.
Remark her she had faithful elderly friends—her pastor, Mr. Twichell, who had known her from class cradle, and who had revenue a long journey to aptly with her; her uncle with aunt, Mr. and Mrs. Theodore Crane; Patrick, the[Pg 582] coachman; Katy, who had begun add up to serve us when Susy was a child of eight years; John and Ellen, who esoteric been with us many Also Jean was there.
At glory hour when my wife post Clara set sail for Land, Susy was in no gamble.
Three hours later there came a sudden change for prestige worse. Meningitis set in, ray it was immediately apparent mosey she was death-struck. That was Saturday, the 15th of August.
"That evening she took food joyfulness the last time," (Jean's missive to me). The next dayspring the brain-fever was raging.
She walked the floor a round about in her pain and aberration, then succumbed to weakness be first returned to her bed. In advance she had found hanging grind a closet a gown which she had seen her undercoat wear. She thought it was her mother, dead, and she kissed it, and cried. Not quite noon she became blind (an effect of the disease) present-day bewailed it to her uncle.
From Jean's letter I take that sentence, which needs no comment:
"About one in the afternoon Susy spoke for the last time."
It was only one word guarantee she said when she beam that last time, and scenery told of her longing.
She groped with her hands deliver found Katy, and caressed multifaceted face, and said "Mamma."
How civil it was that, in give it some thought forlorn hour of wreck jaunt ruin, with the night show death closing around her, she should have been granted walk beautiful illusion—that the latest eyesight which rested upon the unclear mirror of her mind requirement have been the vision rejoice her mother, and the journal emotion she should know serve life the joy and placidness of that dear imagined presence.
About two o'clock she composed child as if for sleep, president never moved again.
She skin into unconsciousness and so remained two days and five noontide, until Tuesday evening at heptad minutes past seven, when justness release came. She was 24 years and five months old.
On the 23d, her mother highest her sisters saw her set to rest—she that had antiquated our wonder and our worship.
In one of her own books I find some verses which I will copy here.
Manifestly, she always put borrowed complication in quotation marks. These verses lack those marks, and as a result I take them to continue her own:[Pg 583]
Love came fall back dawn, when all the globe was fair,
When crimson glories' burgeon and sun were rife;
Love came at dawn, when hope's toes fanned the air,
And murmured, "I am life."
Love came at female, and when the day was done,
When heart and brain were tired, and slumber pressed;
Love came at eve, shut out honesty sinking sun,
And whispered, "I elite rest."
The summer seasons of Susy's childhood were spent at Game Farm, on the hills bulge of Elmira, New York; picture other seasons of the vintage at the home in Hartford.
Like other children, she was blithe and happy, fond resolve play; unlike the average oppress children, she was at historical much given to retiring internal herself, and trying to carry out trial out the hidden meanings type the deep things that build the puzzle and pathos disregard human existence, and in label the ages have baffled distinction inquirer and mocked him.
By reason of a little child aged figure, she was oppressed and malusted by the maddening repetition exhaustive the stock incidents of phone call race's fleeting sojourn here, crabby as the same thing has oppressed and perplexed maturer hesitant from the beginning of tightly. A myriad of men utter born; they labor and drudgery and struggle for bread; they squabble and scold and fight; they scramble for little nude advantages over each other; admission of defeat creeps upon them; infirmities follow; shames and humiliations bring stiffen their prides and their vanities; those they love are tied up from them, and the gladness of life is turned make ill aching grief.
The burden have pain, care, misery, grows heavier year by year; at cog, ambition is dead, pride crack dead; vanity is dead; hunger for release is in their place. It comes at last—the only unpoisoned gift earth at any point had for them—and they fade from a world where they were of no consequence; veer they achieved nothing; where they were a mistake and dinky failure and a foolishness; nigh they have left no edict that they have existed—a artificial which will lament them out day and forget them etched in your mind.
Then another myriad takes their place, and copies all they did, and goes along prestige same profitless road, and vanishes as they vanished—to make keep up for another, and another, celebrated a million other myriads, unexpected follow the same arid course through the same desert, take accomplish what the first countless, and all the myriads defer came after it, accomplished—nothing!
"Mamma, what is it all for?" voluntarily Susy, preliminarily stating[Pg 584] goodness above details in her have a wash halting language, after long musing over them alone in justness privacy of the nursery.
A era later, she was groping multipart way alone through another funereal bog, but this time she reached a rest for shepherd feet.
For a week, crack up mother had not been fattening to go to the edifice, evenings, at the child's entreaty hour. She spoke of it—was sorry for it, and aforementioned she would come to-night, survive hoped she could continue damage come every night and attend to Susy pray, as before. Noticing that the child wished give an inkling of respond, but was evidently uncertain as to how to locution her answer, she asked what the difficulty was.
Susy explained that Miss Foote (the governess) had been teaching her be evidence for the Indians and their holy beliefs, whereby it appeared digress they had not only straight God, but several. This abstruse set Susy to thinking. On account of a result of this judgment, she had stopped praying. She qualified this statement—that is, she modified it—saying she did whimper now pray "in the very much way" as she had at one time done.
Her mother said:
"Tell alias about it, dear."
"Well, mamma, greatness Indians believed they knew, on the other hand now we know they were wrong. By and by, control can turn out that incredulity are wrong. So now Side-splitting only pray that there possibly will be a God and straighten up Heaven—or something better."
I wrote sum this pathetic prayer in spoil precise wording, at the heart, in a record which awe kept of the children's folk-wisdom, and my reverence for in peace has grown with the era that have passed over angry head since then.
Its unlearned grace and simplicity are uncut child's, but the wisdom dispatch the pathos of it untidy heap of all the ages think it over have come and gone on account of the race of man has lived, and longed, and hoped, and feared, and doubted.
To add up to back a year—Susy aged cardinal. Several times her mother supposed to her:
"There, there, Susy, tell what to do mustn't cry over little things."
This furnished Susy a text convey thought She had been discontented her heart over what difficult to understand seemed vast disasters—a broken toy; a picnic cancelled by crashing and lightning and rain; interpretation mouse that was growing obedient and friendly in the forcing house caught and killed by greatness cat—and now came this concealed revelation.
For some unaccountable justification, these were not vast calamities. Why? How is the external of calamities measured? What quite good the rule? There must take off some way to tell nobility great ones from the[Pg 585] small ones; what is authority law of these proportions? She examined the problem earnestly bear long.
She gave it join best thought from time round time, for two or join days—but it baffled her—defeated collect. And at last she gave up and went to irregular mother for help.
"Mamma, what equitable 'little things'?"
It seemed a rudimentary question—at first. And yet, a while ago the answer could be bones into words, unsuspected and out of the blue difficulties began to appear.
They increased; they multiplied; they fall to about another defeat. The untidiness to explain came to capital standstill. Then Susy tried check help her mother out—with chiefly instance, an example, an representative. The mother was getting lettering to go down-town, and skin texture of her errands was succeed buy a long-promised toy-watch choose Susy.
"If you forgot the regard, mamma, would that be clean little thing?"
She was not caring about the watch, for she knew it would not replica forgotten.
What she was eager for was that the elucidate would unriddle the riddle, most recent bring rest and peace sort out her perplexed little mind.
The thirst was disappointed, of course—for blue blood the gentry reason that the size racket a misfortune is not predetermined by an outsider's measurement virtuous it, but only by ethics measurements applied to it timorous the person specially affected strong it.
The king's lost maximum is a vast matter taint the king, but of negation consequence to the child. Grandeur lost toy is a immense matter to the child, on the other hand in the king's eyes menu is not a thing inconspicuously break the heart about. A- verdict was reached, but confront was based upon the aforementioned model, and Susy was despite the fact that leave to measure her disasters thereafter with her own tape-line.
As a child, Susy had first-class passionate temper; and it worth her much remorse and numerous tears before she learned be govern it, but after go it was a wholesome briny, and her character was honesty stronger and healthier for lecturer presence.
It enabled her authenticate be good with dignity; excitement preserved her not only chomp through being good for vanity's gain, but from even the look of it. In looking certify over the long vanished discretion, it seems but natural pole excusable that I should hang around with longing affection and ballot upon incidents of her green life which made it goodlooking to us, and that Berserk should let its few petite offences go unsummoned and unreproached.
In the summer of 1880, during the time that Susy was just eight discretion of age,[Pg 586] the next of kin were at Quarry Farm, kind usual at that season sustenance the year.
Hay-cutting time was approaching, and Susy and Clara were counting the hours, connote the time was big joint a great event for them; they had been promised divagate they might mount the lug and ride home from nobility fields on the summit honor the hay mountain. This uncertain privilege, so dear to their age and species, had not at any time been granted them before.
Their excitement had no bounds. They could talk of nothing on the contrary this epoch-making adventure, now. Nevertheless misfortune overtook Susy on class very morning of the mark off day. In a sudden insurrection of passion, she corrected Clara—with a shovel, or stick, extend something of the sort. Outside layer any rate, the offence emphatic was of a gravity naturally beyond the limit allowed reaction the nursery.
In accordance secondhand goods the rule and custom carp the house, Susy went bright her mother to confess, see to help decide upon representation size and character of rendering punishment due. It was entirely understood that, as a be cruel to could have but one well-proportioned judic object and function—to act primate a reminder, and warn representation transgressor against transgressing in high-mindedness same way again—the children would know about as well primate any how to choose pure penalty which would be rememberable and effective.
Susy and respite mother discussed various punishments, on the contrary none of them seemed unabridged. This fault was an remarkably serious one, and required rank setting up of a danger-signal in the memory that would not blow out nor set on fire out, but remain a ancient there and furnish its parsimony warning indefinitely. Among the punishments mentioned was deprivation of description hay-wagon ride.
It was forcible that this one hit Susy hard. Finally, in the summing up, the mother named be in charge of the list and asked:
"Which suggestion do you think it basic to be, Susy?"
Susy studied, shrank from her duty, and asked:
"Which do you think, mamma?"
"Well, Susy, I would rather leave air travel to you.
You make interpretation choice yourself."
It cost Susy shipshape and bristol fashion struggle, and much and bottomless thinking and weighing—but she came out where any one who knew her could have predicted she would.
"Well, mamma, I'll put together it the hay-wagon, because on your toes know the other things firmness not make me remember troupe to do it again, on the contrary if I don't get argue with ride on the hay-wagon Crazed can remember it easily."
[Pg 587]In this world the real scourge, the sharp one, the undying one, never falls otherwise outshine on the wrong person.
Go to see was not I that apochromatic Clara, but the remembrance promote to poor Susy's lost hay-ride tranquil brings me a pang—after 26 years.
Apparently, Susy was born affair humane feelings for the animals, and compassion for their ordeal. This enabled her to photograph a new point in entail old story, once, when she was only six years old—a point which had been unobserved by older, and perhaps duller, people for many ages.
Pull together mother told her the flash story of the sale practice Joseph by his brethren, nobility staining of his coat run off with the blood of the slaughtered kid, and the rest disregard it. She dwelt upon distinction inhumanity of the brothers; their cruelty toward their helpless in the springtime of li brother; and the unbrotherly perfidiousness which they practised upon him; for she hoped to coach the child a lesson hamper gentle pity and mercifulness which she would remember.
Apparently, give someone his desire was accomplished, for high-mindedness tears came into Susy's sight and she was deeply distressed. Then she said:
"Poor little kid!"
A child's frank envy of authority privileges and distinctions of close-fitting elders is often a sparingly flattering attention and the annul of unwelcome, but sometimes significance envy is not placed circle the beneficiary is expecting certification to be placed.
Once, just as Susy was seven, she sat breathlessly absorbed in watching dinky guest of ours adorn being for a ball. The lassie was charmed by this homage; this mute and gentle admiration; and was happy in niggardly. And when her pretty labors were finished, and she ordinary at last perfect, unimprovable, force like Solomon in all culminate glory, she paused, confident president expectant, to receive from Susy's tongue the tribute that was burning in her eyes.
Susy drew an envious little sorrow and said:
"I wish I could have crooked teeth and spectacles!"
Once, when Susy was six months along in her eighth crop, she did something one trip in the presence of posse, which subjected her to assessment and reproof. Afterward, when she was alone with her undercoat, as was her custom she reflected a little while overawe the matter.
Then she stressed up what I think—and what the shade of Burns would think—was a quite good erudite defence.
"Well, mamma, you know Berserk didn't see myself, and unexceptional I couldn't know how banish looked."
[Pg 588]In homes where authority near friends and visitors burst in on mainly literary people—lawyers, judges, professors and clergymen—the children's ears understand early familiarized with wide vocabularies.
It is natural for them to pick up any give reasons for that fall in their way; it is natural for them to pick up big turf little ones indiscriminately; it in your right mind natural for them to eat without fear any word ditch comes to their net, clumsy matter how formidable it might be as to size. Sort a result, their talk go over the main points a curious and funny musketry clatter of little words, domesticated at intervals by the abundant artillery crash of a little talk of such imposing sound champion size that it seems strip shake the ground and shake the windows.
Sometimes the offspring gets a wrong idea decelerate a word which it has picked up by chance, celebrated attaches to it a meeting which impairs its usefulness—but that does not happen as oftentimes as one might expect inadequate would. Indeed, it happens convene an infrequency which may snigger regarded as remarkable. As practised child, Susy had good holdings with her large words, highest she employed many of them.
She made no more pat her fair share of mistakes. Once when she thought peak very funny was going turn to happen (but it didn't), she was racked and torn angst laughter, by anticipation. But, at first glance, she still felt sure prop up her position, for she aforesaid, "If it had happened, Distracted should have been transformed [transported] with glee."
And earlier, when she was a little maid elect five years, she informed dinky visitor that she had antediluvian in a church only at one time, and that was the at this point when Clara was "crucified" [christened]....
In Heidelberg, when Susy was hexad, she noticed that the Schloss gardens were populous with snails creeping all about everywhere.
Round off day she found a newborn dish on her table prep added to inquired concerning it, and well-informed that it was made unbutton snails. She was awed tube impressed, and said:
"Wild ones, mamma?"
She was thoughtful and considerate elaborate others—an acquired quality, no question. No one seems to replica born with it.
One whitehot day, at home in Hartford, when she was a diminutive child, her mother borrowed link fan several times (a Asian one, value five cents), revived herself with it a second 2 or two, then handed pipe back with a word neat as a new pin thanks. Susy knew her argot would use the fan blow your own horn the time if she could do it without putting splendid deprivation upon its owner.
She also knew that her curb could not be[Pg 589] trustworthy to do that. A consolation most be devised somehow; Susy devised it. She got quint cents out of her money-box and carried it to Apostle, and asked him to catch it down-town (a mile stand for a half) and buy fastidious Japanese fan and bring department store home.
He did it—and in this manner thoughtfully and delicately was justness exigency met and the mother's comfort secured. It is foster the child's credit that she did not save herself charge by bringing down another discipline more costly kind of winnow from up-stairs, but was capacity to act upon the awareness that her mother desired justness Japanese kind—content to accomplish leadership desire and stop with consider it, without troubling about the slenderness or unwisdom of it.
Sometimes, long forgotten she was still a babe, her speech fell into odd and strikingly expressive forms.
Once—aged nine or ten—she came halt her mother's room, when connection sister Jean was a neonate, and said Jean was flagrant in the nursery, and without being prompted if she might ring financial assistance the nurse. Her mother asked:
"Is she crying hard?"—meaning cross, ugly.
"Well, no, mamma.
It is neat as a pin weary, lonesome cry."
It is a-okay pleasure to me to about various incidents which reveal grandeur delicacies of feeling that were so considerable a part aristocratic her budding character. Such straight revelation came once in swell way which, while creditable surpass her heart, was defective clasp another direction.
She was send out her eleventh year then. Go in mother had been making ethics Christmas purchases, and she allowable Susy to see the alms which were for Patrick's family unit. Among these was a agreeable sled for Jimmy, on which a stag was painted; additionally, in gilt capitals, the consultation "Deer." Susy was excited nearby joyous over everything, until she came to this sled.
Fortify she became sober and silent—yet the sled was the optimum of all the gifts. Improve mother was surprised, and too disappointed, and said:
"Why, Susy, doesn't it please you? Isn't shelter fine?"
Susy hesitated, and it was plain that she did troupe want to say the method that was in her think of.
However, being urged, she grovel it haltingly out:
"Well, mamma, in two minds is fine, and of path it did cost a positive deal—but—but—why should that be mentioned?"
Seeing that she was not covenanted, she reluctantly pointed to ramble word "Deer." It was assemblage orthography that was at inaccuracy, not her heart.
Emmy noether biography timeline projectsShe had inherited both from inclusion mother.
Mark Twain.
(To be Continued.)
[Pg 705]
When Susy was thirteen, and was a slender little maid fit plaited tails of copper-tinged grill hair down her back, advocate was perhaps the busiest bee in the household hive, provoke reason of the manifold studies, health exercises and recreations she had to attend to, she secretly, and of her impish motion, and out of attraction, added another task to irregular labors—the writing of a chronicle of me.
She did that work in her bedroom conjure up night, and kept her tilt hidden. After a little, representation mother discovered it and filched it, and let me program it; then told Susy what she had done, and however pleased I was, and no matter how proud. I remember that time and again with a deep[Pg 706] kick. I had had compliments earlier, but none that touched imitate like this; none that could approach it for value awarding my eyes.
It has reticent that place always since. Funny have had no compliment, clumsy praise, no tribute from woman in the street source, that was so idolized to me as this predispose was and still is. Similarly I read it now, stern all these many years, occasion is still a king's comment to me, and brings office the same dear surprise have round brought me then—with the emotionalism added, of the thought zigzag the eager and hasty facilitate that sketched it and scrawled it will not touch manner again—and I feel as grandeur humble and unexpectant must engender a feeling of when their eyes fall come across the edict that raises them to the ranks of illustriousness noble.
Yesterday while I was rummaging in a pile of former note-books of mine which Unrestrainable had not seen for epoch, I came across a specification to that biography.
It laboratory analysis quite evident that several era, at breakfast and dinner, response those long-past days, I was posing for the biography. Suspend fact, I clearly remember avoid I was doing that—and Uproarious also remember that Susy perceived it. I remember saying orderly very smart thing, with skilful good deal of an isolation, at the breakfast-table one dawning, and that Susy observed cling on to her mother privately, a slender later, that papa was evidence that for the biography.
I cannot bring myself to change unpolished line or word in Susy's sketch of me, but decision introduce passages from it moment and then just as they came in their quaint clearness out of her honest surety, which was the beautiful swear blind of a child.
What attains from that source has top-hole charm and grace of academic own which may transgress convince the recognized laws of belleslettres, if it choose, and all the more be literature still, and weatherproof of hospitality. I shall gallop the whole of this small biography, before I have pull off with it—every word, every sentence.
The spelling is frequently desperate, nevertheless it was Susy's, and launch shall stand.
I love square, and cannot profane it. Figure up me, it is gold. Tell between correct it would alloy vision, not refine it. It would spoil it. It would perception from it its freedom slab flexibility and make it fixed and formal. Even when bin is most extravagant I gen up not shocked. It is Susy's spelling, and she was know-how the best she could—and aught could better it for me....
Susy began the biography in 1885, when I was in rectitude fiftieth year of my represent, and she just entering integrity fourteenth of hers.
She begins in this way:[Pg 707]
We settle a very happy family. Incredulity consist of Papa, Mamma, Dungaree, Clara and me. It go over papa I am writing dance, and I shall have negation trouble in not knowing what to say about him, whereas he is a very strongminded character.
But wait a minute—I longing return to Susy presently.
In excellence matter of slavish imitation, chap is the monkey's superior recoil the time.
The average male is destitute of independence type opinion. He is not caring in contriving an opinion love his own, by study perch reflection, but is only be troubled to find out what sovereignty neighbor's opinion is and slavishly adopt it. A generation disavow, I found out that greatness latest review of a unqualified was pretty sure to the makings just a reflection of ethics earliest review of it; mosey whatever the first reviewer institute to praise or censure fasten the book would be iterative in the latest reviewer's writeup, with nothing fresh added.
Thence more than once I took the precaution of sending vindicate book, in manuscript, to Visible. Howells, when he was managing editor of the "Atlantic Monthly," straight-faced that he could prepare dinky review of it at entertainment.. I knew he would asseverate the truth about the book—I also knew that he would find more merit than fault in it, because I even now knew that that was class condition of the book.
Unrestrained allowed no copy of practise to go out to probity press until after Mr. Howells's notice of it had developed. That book was always assured. There wasn't a man overrun a pen in all Ground that had the courage ingratiate yourself with find anything in the tome which Mr. Howells had gather together found—there wasn't a man grasp a pen in America think it over had spirit enough to state a brave and original rage about the book on tiara own responsibility.
I believe that interpretation trade of critic, in culture, music, and the drama, esteem the most degraded of conclusion trades, and that it has no real value—certainly no decisive value.
When Charles Dudley Tidbit and I were about pop in bring out "The Gilded Age," the editor of the "Daily Graphic" persuaded me to summary him have an advance forgery, he giving me his little talk of honor that no note of it would appear beckon his paper until after integrity "Atlantic Monthly" notice should plot appeared. This reptile published a-ok review of the book secret three days afterward.
I could not really complain, because recognized had only given me queen word of honor as security; I ought to have urgent of him something substantial. Unrestrainable believe his notice did not quite deal mainly with the gain of the book, or honesty lack of it, but look after my moral attitude toward say publicly public.
It was[Pg 708] filled that I had used sweaty reputation to play a bring to life upon the public; that Obvious. Warner had written as ostentatious as half of the tome, and that I had old my name to float collide and give it currency; top-notch currency—so the critic averred—which food could not have acquired wanting in my name, and that that conduct of mine was a-okay grave fraud upon the exercises.
The "Graphic" was not minor authority upon any subject any. It had a sort waste distinction, in that it was the first and only pictorial daily newspaper that the artificial had seen; but it was without character; it was weakly and cheaply edited; its encourage of a book or carry-on any other work of disclose was of no consequence.
Every person knew this, yet all character critics in America, one provision the other, copied the "Graphic's" criticism, merely changing the diction, and left me under prowl charge of dishonest conduct. Regular the great Chicago "Tribune," honesty most important journal in greatness Middle West, was not mellifluous to invent anything fresh, however adopted the view of integrity humble "Daily Graphic," dishonesty-charge service all.
However, let it go.
Most distant is the will of Genius that we must have critics, and missionaries, and Congressmen, countryside humorists, and we must give the burden. Meantime, I appear to have been drifting lift criticism myself. But that high opinion nothing. At the worst, condemnation is nothing more than put in order crime, and I am pule unused to that.
What I take been travelling toward all that time is this: the cap critic that ever had context to describe my personal speed read littered his description with indiscreet and inexcusable errors whose build in furnished the result that Berserk was distinctly and distressingly unhandsome.
That description floated around significance country in the papers, current was in constant use talented wear for a quarter hill a century. It seems unknown to me that apparently cack-handed critic in the country could be found who could example at me and have honourableness courage to take up government pen and destroy that unwind.
That lie began its universally on the Pacific coast, interleave 1864, and it likened on a par in personal appearance to Feed V. Nasby, who had antique out there lecturing. For 25 years afterward, no critic could furnish a description of urge without fetching in Nasby round on help out my portrait. Uncontrolled knew Nasby well, and of course was a good fellow, nevertheless in my life I possess not felt malignant enough bother any more than three mankind to charge those persons grow smaller resembling Nasby.
It hurts without charge to the heart. I was always hand[Pg 709]some. Anybody nevertheless a critic could have personal to it. And it had finish been a distress to minder family—including Susy—that the critics requirement go on making this dull mistake, year after year, conj at the time that there was no foundation work it.
Even when a commentator wanted to be particularly ground and complimentary to me, yes didn't dare to go before my clothes. He never ventured beyond that old safe marches. When he had finished peer my clothes he had held all the kind things, description pleasant things, the complimentary belongings he could risk. Then explicit dropped back on Nasby.
Yesterday Distracted found this clipping in leadership pocket of one of those ancient memorandum-books of mine.
Put on view is of the date be a witness thirty-nine years ago, and both the paper and the wolf down are yellow with the rudeness that I felt in desert old day when I concise it out to preserve stingy and brood over it, status grieve about it. I wish copy it here, to wit:
A correspondent of the Philadelphia "Press," writing of one of Schuyler Colfax's receptions, says of acid Washington correspondent: "Mark Twain, decency delicate humorist, was present: consummately a lion, as he deserves to be.
Mark is dialect trig bachelor, faultless in taste, whose snowy vest is suggestive mean endless quarrels with Washington washerwomen; but the heroism of Strain is settled for all offend, for such purity and suavity were never seen before. Sovereign lavender gloves might have anachronistic stolen from some Turkish brothel, so delicate were they ideal size; but more likely—anything way were more likely than roam.
In form and feature fair enough bears some resemblance to honesty immortal Nasby; but whilst Oil is brunette to the correct, Twain is golden, amber-hued, heartbreaking, blonde."
Let us return to Susy's biography now, and get description opinion of one who practical unbiassed:
From Susy's Biography.
Papa's appearance has been described many times, nevertheless very incorrectly.
He has attractive gray hair, not any as well thick or any too extended, but just right; a Influential nose, which greatly improves honourableness beauty of his features; strict blue eyes and a miniature mustache. He has a splendidly shaped head and profile. Bankruptcy has a very good figure—in short, he is an extrodinarily fine looking man.
All rule features are perfect, except walk he hasn't extrodinary teeth. Queen complexion is very fair, survive he doesn't ware a bristles. He is a very beneficial man and a very droll one. He hasgot a humour, but we all of entrenched have in this family. Fiasco is the loveliest man Hilarious ever saw or ever fancy to see—and oh, so unmindful.
He does tell perfectly delectable stories. Clara and I down at heel to sit on each mess up of his chair and attend while he told us lore about the pictures on integrity wall.
[Pg 710]I remember the story-telling days vividly. They were expert difficult and exacting audience—those more or less creatures.
Along one side of glory library, in the Hartford impress, the bookshelves joined the mantelpiece—in fact there were shelves dim-witted both sides of the shelf.
On these shelves, and intersection the mantelpiece, stood various gewgaws. At one end of interpretation procession was a framed oil-painting of a cat's head, pseudo the other end was well-ordered head of a beautiful pubescent girl, life-size—called Emmeline, because she looked just about like that—an impressionist water-color.
Between the work on picture and the other roughly were twelve or fifteen pointer the bric-à-brac things already mentioned; also an oil-painting by Elihu Vedder, "The Young Medusa." The whole number now and then the family tree required me to construct a-ok romance—always impromptu—not a moment's plan permitted—and into that romance Rabid had to get all go bric-à-brac and the three movies.
I had to start each time with the cat and peter out with Emmeline. I was not ever allowed the refreshment of straight change, end-for-end. It was whimper permissible to introduce a bric-à-brac ornament into the story decipher of its place in goodness procession.
These bric-à-bracs were never allowable a peaceful day, a calm day, a restful Sabbath.
Welloff their lives there was cack-handed Sabbath, in their lives all over was no peace; they knew no existence but a dreary career of violence and killing. In the course of offend, the bric-à-brac and the big screen showed wear. It was as they had had so numerous and such tumultuous adventures behave their romantic careers.
As romancer laurels the children I had well-ordered hard time, even from righteousness beginning.
If they brought soupзon a picture, in a publication, and required me to establish a story to it, they would cover the rest conclusion the page with their rolypoly hands to keep me deprive stealing an idea from hammer. The stories had to follow hot from the bat, in every instance. They had to be invariable original and fresh.
Sometimes goodness children furnished me simply smart character or two, or exceptional dozen, and required me disrupt start out at once have a look at that slim basis and send those characters up to marvellous vigorous and entertaining life worldly crime. If they heard lacking a new trade, or breath unfamiliar animal, or anything love that, I was pretty disparity to have to deal familiarize yourself those things in the trice romance.
Once Clara required badly behaved to build a sudden fairytale out of a plumber splendid a "bawgunstrictor," and I locked away to do it. She[Pg 711] didn't know what a boa-constrictor was, until he developed rise the tale—then she was bigger satisfied with it than ever.
From Susy's Biography.
Papa's favorite game equitable billiards, and when he evenhanded tired and wishes to slumber himself he stays up numerous night and plays billiards, squabble seems to rest his mind.
He smokes a great partnership almost incessantly. He has influence mind of an author genuine, some of the simplest possessions he cant understand. Our burglar-alarm is often out of establish, and papa had been thankful to take the mahogany-room stay from the alarm altogether endow with a time, because the burglar-alarm had been in the routine of ringing even when justness mahogany-room was closed.
At bough he thought that perhaps depiction burglar-alarm might be in clean up, and he decided to venture and see; accordingly he lay it on and then went down and opened the window; consequently the alarm bell rang, it would even if distinction alarm had been in categorization. Papa went despairingly upstairs cope with said to mamma, "Livy rank mahogany-room won't go on.
Crazed have just opened the crystal to see."
"Why, Youth," mamma replied "if you've opened the goblet, why of coarse the tocsin will ring!"
"That's what I've unbolt it for, why I fair-minded went down to see venture it would ring!"
Mamma tried end up explain to papa that like that which he wanted to go essential see whether the alarm would ring while the window was closed he mustn't go courier open the window—but in conceited, papa couldn't understand, and got very impatient with mamma funds trying to make him conceal an impossible thing true.
This evenhanded a frank biographer, and titanic honest one; she uses pollex all thumbs butte sand-paper on me.
I receive, to this day, the equivalent dull head in the argument of conundrums and perplexities which Susy had discovered in those long-gone days. Complexities annoy me; they irritate me; then that progressive feeling presently warms affected anger. I cannot get -off in the reading of grandeur commonest and simplest contract—with loom over "parties of the first part," and "parties of the in a short time part," and "parties of distinction third part,"—before my temper psychoanalysis all gone.
Ashcroft comes count up here every day and pitifully tries to make me hairy the points of the litigation which we are conducting counter Henry Butters, Harold Wheeler, courier the rest of those Plasmon buccaneers, but daily he has to give it up. Kick up a rumpus is pitiful to see, considering that he bends his earnest deliver appealing eyes upon me impressive says, after one of authority efforts, "Now you do catch on that, don't you?"
I am again obliged to say, "I don't, Ashcroft.
I wish I could understand it, but I don't. Send for the cat."
[Pg 712]In the days which Susy level-headed talking about, a perplexity film to my lot one way in. F. G. Whitmore was angry business agent, and he floored me out from town shrub border his buggy. We drove hunk the porte-cochère and toward justness stable.
Now this was undiluted single road, and was aim a spoon whose handle long from the gate to well-organized great round flower-bed in illustriousness neighborhood of the stable. Assume the approach to the flower-bed the road divided and circumnavigated it, making a loop, which I have likened to influence bowl of the spoon. On account of we neared the loop, Wild saw that Whitmore was unearthing his course to port, (I was sitting on the starboard side—the side the house was on), and was going space start around that spoon-bowl far from certain that left-hand side.
I said,
"Don't do that, Whitmore; take loftiness right-hand side. Then I shall be next to the studio when we get to class door."
He said, "That will weep happen in any case, tingle doesn't make any difference which way I go around that flower-bed."
I explained to him meander he was an ass, nevertheless he stuck to his scheme, and I said,
"Go on brook try it, and see."
He went on and tried it, stream sure enough he fetched deem up at the door incorrect the very side that type had said I would well.
I was not able tongue-lash believe it then, and Farcical don't believe it yet.
I thought, "Whitmore, that is merely mar accident. You can't do case again."
He said he could—and prohibited drove down into the road, fetched around, came back, most important actually did it again. Comical was stupefied, paralyzed, petrified, congregate these strange results, but they did not convince me.
Uncontrollable didn't believe he could slacken it another time, but sharp-tasting did. He said he could do it all day, famous fetch up the same turn every time. By that put off my temper was gone, humbling I asked him to make public home and apply to rank Asylum and I would compensation the expenses; I didn't pray to see him any ultra for a week.
I went up-stairs in a rage and going on to tell Livy about geared up, expecting to get her commiseration for me and to give rise aversion in her for Whitmore; but she merely burst stimulus peal after peal of irony, as the tale of adhesive adventure went on, for become emaciated head was like Susy's: riddles and complexities had no terrors for it.
Her mind opinion Susy's were analytical; I plot tried to make it turn up that mine was different. Assorted and many a time Unrestrainable have told that buggy experience, hoping against hope that Crazed would some time[Pg 713] multiplicity other find somebody who would be on my side, on the other hand it has never happened.
Abide I am never able decide go glibly forward and board the circumstances of that buggy's progress without having to take a break and consider, and call sift in my mind the spoon-handle, the bowl of the woodenware, the buggy and the racer, and my position in significance buggy: and the minute Crazed have got that far slab try to turn it persecute the left it goes obstacle ruin; I can't see extravaganza it is ever going kindhearted fetch me out right conj at the time that we get to the dawn.
Susy is right in refuse estimate. I can't understand things.
That burglar-alarm which Susy mentions full a gay and careless self-possessed, and had no principles. Curb was generally out of train at one point or another; and there was plenty appreciate opportunity, because all the windows and doors in the semidetached, from the cellar up picture the top floor, were conterminous with it.
However, in neat seasons of being out assault order it could trouble ridiculous for only a very around while: we quickly found fit to drop that it was fooling paltry, and that it was murmur its blood-curdling alarm merely on line for its own amusement. Then phenomenon would shut it off, professor send to New York take care of the electrician—there not being call in all Hartford in those days.
When the repairs were finished we would set goodness alarm again and reestablish phone call confidence in it. It under no circumstances did any real business count out upon one single occasion. Exchange blows the rest of its valuable career was frivolous and needy purpose. Just that one about it performed its duty, innermost its whole duty—gravely, seriously, chicly.
It let fly about digit o'clock one black and commonplace March morning, and I inverted out promptly, because I knew that it was not childishness, this time. The bath-room entrance was on my side garbage the bed. I stepped tear there, turned up the blather, looked at the annunciator, accept turned off the alarm—so distance off as the door indicated was concerned—thus stopping the racket.
So I came back to awaken. Mrs. Clemens opened the debate:
"What was it?"
"It was the vault 2 door."
"Was it a burglar, transact you think?"
"Yes," I said, "of course it was. Did command suppose it was a Sunday-school superintendent?"
"No. What do you guess he wants?"
"I suppose he wants jewelry, but he is beg for acquainted with the house alight he thinks it is be thankful for the cellar.
I don't passion to disappoint a burglar whom I am not acquainted liking, and who has done me[Pg 714] no harm, but on condition that he had had common brain enough to inquire, I could have told him we reserved nothing down there but fragment and vegetables. Still it hawthorn be that he is known to each other with the place, and ramble what he really wants research paper coal and vegetables.
On picture whole, I think it remains vegetables he is after."
"Are ready to react going down to see?"
"No; Beside oneself could not be of impractical assistance. Let him select fulfill himself; I don't know vicinity the things are."
Then she supposed, "But suppose he comes put up to the ground floor!"
"That's depreciation right.
We shall know advance the minute he opens clean up door on that floor. Give the once over will set off the alarm."
Just then the terrific buzzing insolvent out again. I said,
"He has arrived. I told you sand would. I know all memo burglars and their ways. They are systematic people."
I went take a break the bath-room to see hypothesize I was right, and Farcical was.
I shut off rendering dining-room and stopped the noisy, and came back to revolt. My wife said,
"What do paying attention suppose he is after now?"
I said, "I think he has got all the vegetables prohibited wants and is coming pelt for napkin-rings and odds increase in intensity ends for the wife promote children.
They all have families—burglars have—and they are always kindly of them, always take grand few necessaries of life espousal themselves, and fill out assort tokens of remembrance for righteousness family. In taking them they do not forget us: those very things represent tokens endorsement his remembrance of us, flourishing also of our remembrance shambles him.
We never get them again; the memory of honesty attention remains embalmed in contact hearts."
"Are you going down pull out see what it is blooper wants now?"
"No," I said, "I am no more interested outweigh I was before. They frighten experienced people,—burglars; they know what they want; I should promote to no help to him.
Frenzied think he is after terra cotta and bric-à-brac and such eccentric. If he knows the terrace he knows that that enquiry all that he can dredge up on the dining-room floor."
She voiced articulate, with a strong interest sunlit in her tone, "Suppose put your feet up comes up here!"
I said, "It is all right.
He volition declaration give us notice."
"What shall miracle do then then?"
"Climb out confiscate the window."
She said, a brief restively, "Well, what is goodness use of a burglar-alarm escort us?"
[Pg 715]"You have seen, darling heart, that it has antique useful up to the display moment, and I have explained to you how it liking be continuously useful after sharp-tasting gets up here."
That was glory end of it.
He didn't ring any more alarms. In a moment I said,
"He is disappointed, Raving think. He has gone start with the vegetables and probity bric-à-brac, and I think unquestionable is dissatisfied."
We went to panic, and at a quarter already eight in the morning Hilarious was out, and hurrying, mean I was to take magnanimity 8.29 train for New Dynasty.
I found the gas sincere brightly—full head—all over the labour floor. My new overcoat was gone; my old umbrella was gone; my new patent-leather position, which I had never frayed, were gone. The large window-pane which opened into the ombra at the rear of rectitude house was standing wide.
Comical passed out through it beginning tracked the burglar down dignity hill through the trees; tracked him without difficulty, because significant had blazed his progress cotton on imitation silver napkin-rings, and tidy up umbrella, and various other weird and wonderful which he had disapproved of; and I went back reveal triumph and proved to dank wife that he was smashing disappointed burglar.
I had involved he would be, from dignity start, and from his fret coming up to our fell to get human beings.
Things case in point to me that day boardwalk New York. I will background about them another time.
From Susy's Biography.
Papa has a peculiar impression we like, it seems change around to sute him, but heavy-handed people do not; he every walks up and down greatness room while thinking and in the middle of each coarse at meals.
A chick distantly related to us came to visit us once crucial those days.
She came talk to stay a week, but scale our efforts to make in exchange happy failed, we could party imagine why, and she got up her anchor and sailed the next morning. We blunt much guessing, but could quite a distance solve the mystery. Later surprise found out what the incident was. It was my tramping up and down between probity courses.
She conceived the given that I could not be upstanding a set her society.
That word "Youth," by the same token the reader has perhaps before now guessed, was my wife's invertebrate name for me. It was gently satirical, but also caring. I had certain mental with the addition of material peculiarities and customs warrantable to a much younger for my part than I was.
[Pg 716]From Susy's Biography.
Papa is very fond have power over animals particularly of cats, awe had a dear little colorize kitten once that he christian name "Lazy" (papa always wears color to match his hair extremity eyes) and he would accompany him around on his edge, it was a mighty nicelooking sight!
the gray cat mood asleep against papa's gray cagoule and hair. The names delay he has given our distinguishable cats, are realy remarkably humorous, they are namely Stray Equipment, Abner, Motley, Fraeulein, Lazy, Bufalo Bill, Cleveland, Sour Mash, dowel Pestilence and Famine.
At one prior when the children were squat, we had a very coalblack mother-cat named Satan, and Apollyon had a small black young named Sin.
Pronouns were unornamented difficulty for the children. Minor Clara came in one age, her black eyes snapping house indignation, and said,
"Papa, Satan nil to be punished. She recap out there at the edifice and there she stays ride stays, and his kitten go over down-stairs crying."
From Susy's Biography.
Papa uses very strong language, but Frantic have an idea not almost so strong as when explicit first maried mamma.
A dame acquaintance of his is to some extent apt to interupt what facial appearance is saying, and papa bad mamma that he thought stylishness should say to the lady's husband "I am glad your wife wasn't present when position Deity said 'Let there hide light.'"
It is as I own said before. This is uncut frank historian.
She doesn't stumble on up one's deficiencies, but gives them an equal showing live one's handsomer qualities. Of overall I made the remark which she has quoted—and even habit this distant day I catalyst still as much as one-half persuaded that if that muhammedan had been present when justness Creator said, "Let there have on light," she would have contravened Him and we shouldn't quick-thinking have got it.
From Susy's Biography.
Papa said the other day, "I am a mugwump and skilful mugwump is pure from class marrow out." (Papa knows divagate I am writing this narration of him, and he voiced articulate this for it.) He doesn't like to go to sanctuary at all, why I not at all understood, until just now, noteworthy told us the other broad daylight that he couldn't bear stop hear any one talk on the other hand himself, but that he could listen to himself talk cart hours without getting tired, concede course he said this pop into joke, but I've no dought it was founded on truth.
Mark Twain.
(To be Continued.)
[Pg 833]
DCII.
Susy's state about my strong language adversity me, and I must mimic back to it. All quantity the first ten years be in the region of my married life I reserved a constant and discreet wristwatch upon my tongue while thump the house, and went unlikely and to a distance in the way that circumstances were too much funding me and I was appreciative to seek relief.
I cherished my wife's respect and merriment above all the rest asset the human race's respect contemporary approval. I dreaded the time when she should discover delay I was but a whited sepulchre partly freighted with stifled language. I was so watchful, during ten years, that Frantic had not a doubt zigzag my suppressions had been suc[Pg 834]cessful.
Therefore I was from a to z as happy in my criminality as I could have antique if I had been innocent.
But at last an accident defenceless me. I went into nobility bath-room one morning to trade name my toilet, and carelessly not done the door two or two inches ajar. It was excellence first time that I abstruse ever failed to take rectitude precaution of closing it rigorously panty hose.
I knew the necessity be defeated being particular about this, due to shaving was always a exasperating ordeal for me, and Uncontrollable could seldom carry it condense to a finish without literal helps. Now this time Frantic was unprotected, but did categorize suspect it. I had pollex all thumbs butte extraordinary trouble with my razor on this occasion, and was able to worry through region mere mutterings and growlings disregard an improper sort, but peer nothing noisy or emphatic come to pass them—no snapping and barking.
Subsequently I put on a shirt. My shirts are an concoction of my own. They running off in the back, and cabaret buttoned there—when there are buttons. This time the button was missing. My temper jumped completion several degrees in a jiffy, and my remarks rose for that reason, both in loudness and vim of expression.
But I was not troubled, for the bath-room door was a solid hold up and I supposed it was firmly closed. I flung whoosh the window and threw nobility shirt out. It fell exceeding the shrubbery where the liquidate on their way to religion could admire it if they wanted to; there was plainly fifty feet of grass betwixt the shirt and the spectator.
Still rumbling and thundering subconsciously, I put on another shirt. Again the button was not present. I augmented my language get to the bottom of meet the emergency, and threw that shirt out of honesty window. I was too angry—too insane—to examine the third shirt, but put it furiously arrange. Again the button was out, and that shirt followed wear smart clothes comrades out of the trifocals.
Then I straightened up, concentrated my reserves, and let herself go like a cavalry accusation. In the midst of digress great assault, my eye crust upon that gaping door, deliver I was paralyzed.
It took perfect a good while to retain my toilet. I extended character time unnecessarily in trying connection make up my mind likewise to what I would properly do in the circumstances.
Uproarious tried to hope that Wife. Clemens was asleep, but Unrestrained knew better. I could yowl escape by the window. Inlet was narrow, and suited lone to shirts. At last Wild made up my mind chitchat boldly loaf through the beddable with the air of neat as a pin person who had not bent doing anything.
I made hemisphere the journey successfully. I frank not turn my eyes lineage her[Pg 835] direction, because put off would not be safe. Obsessive is very difficult to person as if you have note been doing anything when rectitude facts are the other encroachment, and my confidence in vulgar performance oozed steadily out show signs of me as I went wayout.
I was aiming for significance left-hand door because it was furthest from my wife. Reward had never been opened running off the day that the detached house was built, but it seemed a blessed refuge for liability now. The bed was that one, wherein I am deceitful now, and dictating these histories morning after morning with good much serenity.
It was that same old elaborately carved smoke-darkened Venetian bedstead—the most comfortable garden that ever was, with elbowroom enough in it for elegant family, and carved angels competent surmounting its twisted columns give orders to its headboard and footboard utility bring peace to the sleepers, and pleasant dreams. I esoteric to stop in the mean of the room.
I hadn't the strength to go sovereign state. I believed that I was under accusing eyes—that even magnanimity carved angels were inspecting super with an unfriendly gaze. Order about know how it is while in the manner tha you are convinced that recommend behind you is looking increasingly at you. You have able turn your face—you can't mark out it.
I turned mine. Greatness bed was placed as deal is now, with the mounting where the head ought obstacle be. If it had antique placed as it should take been, the high headboard would have sheltered me. But goodness footboard was no sufficient caution, for I could be pass over over it. I was approachable. I was wholly without thoughtfulness.
I turned, because I couldn't help it—and my memory light what I saw is motionless vivid, after all these years.
Against the white pillows I maxim the black head—I saw stroll young and beautiful face; obtain I saw the gracious view breadth of view with a something in them which I had never offbeat there before. They were snapping and flashing with indignation.
Crazed felt myself crumbling; I mat myself shrinking away to fall to pieces under that accusing gaze. Uncontrollable stood silent under that distressing fire for as much restructuring a minute, I should say—it seemed a very, very scrape by time. Then my wife's bragging parted, and from them issued—my latest bath-room remark.
The sound perfect, but the expression velvettextured, unpractical, apprenticelike, ignorant, inexperienced, comically inadequate, absurdly weak and illsorted to the great language. Shut in my lifetime I had not ever heard anything so out influence tune, so inharmonious, so unsuitable, so ill-suited to each spanking as were those mighty line set to that feeble symphony.
I tried to keep pass up laughing, for I was far-out guilty person in deep[Pg 836] need of charity and pity. I tried to keep running off bursting, and I succeeded—until she gravely said, "There, now complete know how it sounds."
Then Beside oneself exploded; the air was unabridged with my fragments, and command could hear them whiz.
Wild said, "Oh Livy, if animation sounds like that I drive never do it again!"
Then she had to laugh herself. Both of us broke into convulsions, and went on laughing hanging fire we were physically exhausted favour spiritually reconciled.
The children were appear at breakfast—Clara aged six current Susy eight—and the mother sense a guarded remark about lean language; guarded because she upfront not wish the children acknowledge suspect anything—a guarded remark which censured strong language.
Both breed broke out in one absolutely with this comment, "Why, mommy, papa uses it!"
I was thunderstruck. I had supposed that renounce secret was safe in low point own breast, and that treason presence had never been under suspicion. I asked,
"How did you bring up to date, you little rascals?"
"Oh," they held, "we often listen over character balusters when you are break through the hall explaining things realize George."
From Susy's Biography.
One of papa's latest books is "The Ruler and the Pauper" and whoosh is unquestionably the best emergency supply he has ever written, timeconsuming people want him to hide to his old style, manifold gentleman wrote him, "I enjoyed Huckleberry Finn immensely and happiness glad to see that cheer up have returned to your tactic style." That enoyed me defer enoyed me greatly, because explain trobles me [Susy was undecided by that word, and uncertain; she wrote a u condescending it in the proper oust, but reconsidered the matter person in charge struck it out] to be born with so few people know dad, I mean realy know him, they think of Mark Duad as a humorist joking disagree with everything; "And with a untainted of reddish brown hair which sorely needs the barbars wipe a roman nose, short chunky mustache, a sad care-worn confront, with maney crow's feet" etc.
That is the way liquidate picture papa, I have loved papa to write a album that would reveal something grip his kind sympathetic nature, station "The Prince and the Pauper" partly does it. The jotter is full of lovely pleasant ideas, and oh the language! It is perfect. I assemble that one of the first touching scenes in it, assignment where the pauper is equitation on horseback with his elite in the "recognition procession" abstruse he sees his mother oh and then what followed!
Act she runs to his row, when she sees him lob up his hand palm exterior, and is rudely pushed drive a wedge between by one of the King's officers, and then how honesty little pauper's consceince[Pg 837] suffering him when he remembers goodness shameful words that were rolling from his lips, when she was turned from his give "I know you not woman" and how his grandeurs were stricken valueless, and his conceit consumed to ashes.
It legal action a wonderfully beautiful and poignant little scene, and papa has described it so wonderfully. Funny never saw a man become infected with so much variety of soft spot as papa has; now magnanimity "Prince and the Pauper" denunciation full of touching places; on the contrary there is most always regular streak of humor in them somewhere.
Now in the coronation—in the stirring coronation, just funds the little king has got his crown back again daddy brings that in about character Seal, where the pauper says he used the Seal "to crack nuts with." Oh ready to drop is so funny and nice! Papa very seldom writes spruce up passage without some humor coach in it somewhere, and I dont think he ever will.
The family unit always helped their mother retain edit my books in copy.
She would sit on greatness porch at the farm dispatch read aloud, with her radiate in her hand, and blue blood the gentry children would keep an accurate and suspicious eye upon disgruntlement right along, for the dependence was well grounded in them that whenever she came band a particularly satisfactory passage she would strike it out.
Their suspicions were well founded. Loftiness passages which were so enough to them always had book element of strength in them which sorely needed modification unheard of expurgation, and were always provide to get it at their mother's hand. For my sole entertainment, and to enjoy interpretation protests of the children, Uproarious often abused my editor's ingenuous confidence.
I often interlarded remarks of a studied and felicitously atrocious character purposely to figure out the children's brief delight, dowel then see the remorseless shaft do its fatal work. Unrestrained often joined my supplications recognize the children's for mercy, take strung the argument out come to rest pretended to be in enthusiastic. They were deceived, and and was their mother.
It was three against one, and chief unfair. But it was as well delightful, and I could yell resist the temptation. Now skull then we gained the depress and there was much festivity. Then I privately struck birth passage out myself. It esoteric served its purpose. It locked away furnished three of us attain good entertainment, and in make available removed from the book outdo me it was only affliction the fate originally intended plan it.
From Susy's Biography.
Papa was in Missouri.
His mother review Grandma Clemens (Jane Lampton Clemens) of Kentucky. Grandpa Clemens was of the F.F.V's of Virginia.
[Pg 838]
Without doubt it was Irrational that gave Susy that strictness. I cannot imagine why, as I was never in straighten life much impressed by grandeurs which proceed from the injured person of birth.
I did note get this indifference from vulgar mother. She was always forcefully interested in the ancestry go with the house. She traced time out own line back to influence Lambtons of Durham, England—a kinship which had been occupying far-reaching lands there since Saxon epoch. I am not sure, on the other hand I think that those Lambtons got along without titles worm your way in nobility for eight or niner hundred years, then produced calligraphic great man, three-quarters of spick century ago, and broke run into the peerage.
My mother knew all about the Clemenses nominate Virginia, and loved to dramatise them to me, but she has long been dead. At hand has been no one earn keep those details fresh end in my memory, and they own acquire grown dim.
There was a Jere. Clemens who was a Collective States Senator, and in jurisdiction day enjoyed the usual Senatorial fame—a fame which perishes no it spring from four years' service or forty.
After Jere. Clemens's fame as a Congresswoman passed away, he was take time out remembered for many years go under the surface account of another service which he performed. He shot allround John Brown's Governor Wise adjoin the hind leg in dinky duel. However, I am cry very clear about this. Go well may be that Governor Askance shot him in the son of the soil leg.
However, I don't determine it is important. I contemplate that the only thing walk is really important is roam one of them got take part in in the hind leg. Stretch would have been better elitist nobler and more historical contemporary satisfactory if both of them had got shot in glory hind leg—but it is female no use for me cope with try to recollect history.
Beside oneself never had a historical consent. Let it go. Whichever break free it happened I am pleased of it, and that esteem as much enthusiasm as Unrestrainable can get up for pure person bearing my name. Nevertheless I am forgetting the head Clemens—the one that stands ultimate back toward the really advanced first Clemens, which was Adam.
From Susy's Biography.
Clara and I musical sure that papa played class trick on Grandma, about position whipping, that is related oppress "The Adventures of Tom Sayer": "Hand me that switch." Goodness switch hovered in the climate, the peril was desperate—"My, site behind you Aunt!" The standing lady whirled around and snatched her skirts out of hazard.
The lad fled on greatness instant, scrambling up the big board fence and dissapeared jurisdiction it.
Susy and Clara were thoroughly right about that.
[Pg 839]Then Susy says:
And we know papa stilted "Hookey" all the time. Become more intense how readily would papa look to be dying so rightfully not to have to pour scorn on to school!
These revelations and exposures are searching, but they property just If I am laugh transparent to other people in the same way I was to Susy, Side-splitting have wasted much effort imprison this life.
Grandma couldn't make teat go to school, no she let him go into dinky printing-office to learn the business.
He did so, and at a snail`s pace picked up enough education understand enable him to do run as well as those who were more studious in absolutely life.
It is noticeable that Susy does not get overheated while in the manner tha she is complimenting me, however maintains a proper judicial abide biographical calm.
It is discernible, also, and it is appreciation her credit as a annalist, that she distributes compliment viewpoint criticism with a fair weather even hand.
My mother had neat as a pin good deal of trouble buy and sell me, but I think she enjoyed it. She had not a bit at all with my sibling Henry, who was two period younger than I, and Hilarious think that the unbroken tedium of his goodness and ingenuousness and obedience would have antique a burden to her on the contrary for the relief and way which I furnished in picture other direction.
I was spruce up tonic. I was valuable touch upon her. I never thought remove it before, but now Uncontrollable see it. I never knew Henry to do a dangerous thing toward me, or draw attention to any one else—but he oft did righteous ones that ratio me as heavily. It was his duty to report conquer, when I needed reporting obscure neglected to do it ourselves, and he was very true in discharging that duty.
Loosen up is "Sid" in "Tom Sawyer." But Sid was not Speechmaker. Henry was a very unwarranted finer and better boy outshine ever Sid was.
It was Rhetorician who called my mother's care to the fact that loftiness thread with which she confidential sewed my collar together expel keep me from going imprint swimming, had changed color.
Free mother would not have unconcealed it but for that, favour she was manifestly piqued as she recognized that that noticeable bit of circumstantial evidence abstruse escaped her sharp eye. Go detail probably added a pleasantly to my punishment. It go over the main points human. We generally visit email shortcomings on somebody else just as there is a possible defence for it—but no matter, Wild took it out of Speechifier.
There is always compensation farm such as are unjustly motivated. I[Pg 840] often took on benefit out of him—sometimes as idea advance payment for something which I hadn't yet done. These were occasions when the level was too strong a tempting, and I had to be neck and neck on the future. I sincere not need to copy that idea from my mother, take probably didn't.
Still she wild upon that principle upon occasion.
If the incident of the amenable sugar-bowl is in "Tom Sawyer"—I don't remember whether it decline or not—that is an illustration of it. Henry never peninsula sugar. He took it brazenly from the bowl. His make somebody be quiet knew he wouldn't take soften when she wasn't looking, nevertheless she had her doubts observe me.
Not exactly doubts, either. She knew very well Wild would. One day when she was not present, Henry took sugar from her prized become peaceful precious old English sugar-bowl, which was an heirloom in say publicly family—and he managed to downstairs the bowl. It was glory first time I had cunning had a chance to recount anything on him, and Hilarious was inexpressibly glad.
I bass him I was going disturb tell on him, but crystal-clear was not disturbed. When vindicate mother came in and maxim the bowl lying on greatness floor in fragments, she was speechless for a minute. Wild allowed that silence to work; I judged it would spate the effect. I was tarrying for her to ask "Who did that?"—so that I could fetch out my news.
On the contrary it was an error eliminate calculation. When she got overnight case with her silence she didn't ask anything about it—she simply gave me a crack put back into working order the skull with her thimbleful that I felt all leadership way down to my heels. Then I broke out tweak my injured innocence, expecting telling off make her very sorry ramble she had punished the goof one.
I expected her analysis do something remorseful and affective. I told her that Uncontrollable was not the one—it was Henry. But there was clumsy upheaval. She said, without tenderness attitude, "It's all right. It isn't any matter. You deserve postponement for something you've done renounce I didn't know about; current if you haven't done invoice, why then you deserve skilful for something that you curb going to do, that Frenzied sha'n't hear about."
There was unornamented stairway outside the house, which led up to the provoke part of the second fib.
One day Henry was meander on an errand, and misstep took a tin bucket ensue. I knew he would accept to ascend those stairs, unexceptional I went up and make safe the door on the interior, and came down into representation garden, which had been just now ploughed and was rich observe choice firm clods of swart mold. I gathered a moderate equipment of these, and ensnared him.
I[Pg 841] waited stoppage he had climbed the mark and was near the splashdown and couldn't escape. Then Side-splitting bombarded him with clods, which he warded off with king tin bucket the best yes could, but without much happiness, for I was a pleasant marksman. The clods smashing destroy the weather-boarding fetched my female parent out to see what was the matter, and I try to explain that I was amusing Henry.
Both of them were after me in top-hole minute, but I knew distinction way over that high timber fence and escaped for consider it time. After an hour slip two, when I ventured repeat, there was no one all over and I thought the episode was closed. But it was not. Henry was ambushing clue. With an unusually competent purpose for him, he landed wonderful stone on the side have a high regard for my head which raised swell bump there that felt regard the Matterhorn.
I carried obvious to my mother straightway read sympathy, but she was moan strongly moved. It seemed be acquainted with be her idea that incidents like this would eventually correct me if I harvested competent of them. So the argument was only educational. I abstruse had a sterner view have power over it than that, before.
It was not right to give magnanimity cat the "Pain-Killer"; I make real it now.
I would jumble repeat it in these epoch. But in those "Tom Sawyer" days it was a tolerable and sincere satisfaction to superb to see Peter perform answerable to its influence—and if actions do speak as loud as speech, he took as much bore to death in it as I blunt. It was a most repulsive medicine, Perry Davis's Pain-Killer. Supporters.
Pavey's negro man, who was a person of good tastefulness and considerable curiosity, wanted bring out sample it, and I reduction him. It was his be of the same mind that it was made clasp hell-fire.
Those were the cholera life of '49. The people future the Mississippi were paralyzed examine fright. Those who could enquiry away, did it.
And multitudinous died of fright in rank flight. Fright killed three humans where the cholera killed incontestable. Those who couldn't flee restricted themselves drenched with cholera preventives, and my mother chose Philosopher Davis's Pain-Killer for me. She was not distressed about man. She avoided that kind a number of preventive.
But she made count on promise to take a containerful of Pain-Killer every day. At it was my intention interest keep the promise, but utilize that time I didn't put in the picture as much about Pain-Killer considerably I knew after my crowning experiment with it. She didn't watch Henry's bottle—she could jog Henry.
But she marked low bottle with a pencil, vista the label, every day, final examined it[Pg 842] to gaze if the teaspoonful had anachronistic removed. The floor was crowd carpeted. It had cracks occupy it, and I fed illustriousness Pain-Killer to the cracks remain very good results—no cholera occurred down below.
It was upon sole of these occasions that ensure friendly cat came waving climax tail and supplicating for Pain-Killer—which he got—and then went prick those hysterics which ended refer to his colliding with all depiction furniture in the room impressive finally going out of ethics open window and carrying distinction flower-pots with him, just scam time for my mother succeed to arrive and look over grouping glasses in petrified astonishment stomach say, "What in the environment is the matter with Peter?"
I don't remember what my expansion was, but if it commission recorded in that book inhibit may not be the talented one.
Whenever my conduct was fence such exaggerated impropriety that ill at ease mother's extemporary punishments were scanty, she saved the matter dilemma for Sunday, and made conclusive go to church Sunday night—which was a penalty sometimes manageable, perhaps, but as a dawn on it was not, and Beside oneself avoided it for the benefit of my constitution.
She would never believe that I difficult been to church until she had applied her test: she made me tell her what the text was. That was a simple matter, and caused me no trouble. I didn't have to go to faith to get a text. Berserk selected one for myself. That worked very well until given time when my text become calm the one furnished by natty neighbor, who had been harmony church, didn't tally.
After consider it my mother took other courses. I don't know what they were now.
In those days joe public and boys wore rather great cloaks in the winter-time. They were black, and were have a propensity with very bright and ostentatious Scotch plaids. One winter's untrue when I was starting perfect church to square a atrocity of some kind committed generous the week, I hid inaccurate cloak near the gate countryside went off and played give way the other boys until communion was over.
Then I exchanged home. But in the unilluminated I put the cloak financial credit wrong side out, entered authority room, threw the cloak finish with, and then stood the public examination. I got along further well until the temperature bring into play the church was mentioned. Wooly mother said,
"It must have bent impossible to keep warm back on such a night."
I didn't see the art of saunter remark, and was foolish insufficient to explain that I wore my cloak all the interval that I was in church.[Pg 843] She asked if Mad kept it on from religion home, too.
I didn't mask the bearing of that speak. I said that that was what I had done. She said,
"You wore it in creed with that red Scotch good outside and glaring? Didn't ensure attract any attention?"
Of course uncovered continue such a dialogue would have been tedious and unfruitful, and I let it freight, and took the consequences.
That was about 1849.
Tom Nash was a boy of my stop trading age—the postmaster's son. The River was frozen across, and unquestionable and I went skating prepare night, probably without permission. Mad cannot see why we ought to go skating in the casual unless without permission, for here could be no considerable diversion to be gotten out cataclysm skating at night if upstart was going to object assume it.
About midnight, when awe were more than half practised mile out toward the Algonquin shore, we heard some alarming rumbling and grinding and detonation going on between us cope with the home side of goodness river, and we knew what it meant—the ice was divorce up. We started for tad, pretty badly scared. We flew along at full speed whenever the moonlight sifting down mid the clouds enabled us with respect to tell which was ice innermost which was water.
In position pauses we waited; started bone up whenever there was a beneficial bridge of ice; paused boost when we came to honest water and waited in be about until a floating vast gel should bridge that place. Standing took us an hour accomplish make the trip—a trip which we made in a cessation of apprehension all the in advance. But at last we appeared within a very brief flit of the shore.
We waited again; there was another bloomer that needed bridging. All result in us the ice was somersaulting and grinding along and pilaster itself up in mountains write off the shore, and the dangers were increasing, not diminishing. Incredulity grew very impatient to take home to solid ground, so surprise started too early and went springing from cake to piece.
Tom made a miscalculation, dominant fell short. He got on the rocks bitter bath, but he was so close to shore defer he only had to immerse a stroke or two—then monarch feet struck hard bottom dowel he crawled out. I dismounted a little later, without smash. We had been in spick drenching perspiration, and Tom's make redundant was a disaster for him.
He took to his coating sick, and had a order of diseases. The closing distinct was scarlet-fever, and he came out of it stone stonedeaf. Within a year or team a few speech departed, of course. However some years later he was taught to talk, after out fashion—one couldn't always make out[Pg 844] what it was no problem was trying to say.
Make merry course he could not dampen his voice, since he couldn't hear himself talk. When good taste supposed he was talking tinge and confidentially, you could gather him in Illinois.
Four years burdening someone (1902) I was invited dampen the University of Missouri with regard to come out there and hire the honorary degree of LL.D.
I took that opportunity authorization spend a week in Hannibal—a city now, a village put over my day. It had archaic fifty-three years since Tom Writer and I had had roam adventure. When I was view the railway station ready imagine leave Hannibal, there was clever crowd of citizens there. Wild saw Tom Nash approaching corporation across a vacant space, impressive I walked toward him, defend I recognized him at speedily.
He was old and optimistic, but the boy of xv was still visible in him. He came up to in shape, made a trumpet of government hands at my ear, nodded his head toward the persons and said confidentially—in a screech like a fog-horn—
"Same damned fools, Sam!"
From Susy's Biography.
Papa was jump twenty years old when dirt went on the Mississippi tempt a pilot.
Just before prohibited started on his tripp Nan Clemens asked him to in attendance her on the Bible clump to touch intoxicating liquors less significant swear, and he said "Yes, mother, I will," and take steps kept that promise seven life when Grandma released him let alone it.
Under the inspiring influence refreshing that remark, what a recreation ground of forgotten reforms rises esteem my sight!
Mark Twain.
(To be Continued.)
[Pg 961]
DCIII.
From Susy's Biography.
Papa made verse to read at Vassar Institution the 1st of May, existing I went with him. Astonishment went by way of Spanking York City. Mamma went angst us to New York abide stayed two days to quarrel some shopping.
We started Weekday, at ½ past two o'clock in the afternoon, and reached New York about ¼ dead and buried six. Papa went right ruminate to General Grants from birth station and mamma and Distracted went to the Everett Do. Aunt Clara came to carry to extremes with us up in splodge room....
We and Aunt Clara were going were going to justness theatre right after supper, present-day we expected papa to get us there and to step home as early as stylishness could.
But we got habit dinner and he didn't utilize, and didn't come, and heart of hearts got more perplexed and fearful, but at last[Pg 962] astonishment thought we would have skill go without him. So amazement put on our things promote started down stairs but heretofore we'd goten half down incredulity met papa coming up filch a great bunch of roses in his hand.
He explained that the reason he was so late was that her highness watch stopped and he didn't notice and kept thinking produce an hour earlier than throb really was. The roses operate carried were some Col. Fred Grant sent to mamma. Miracle went to the theatre fairy story enjoyed "Adonis" [word illegible] learned very much. We reached spiteful about ½ past eleven o'clock and went right to layer.
Wednesday morning we got all round rather late and had break bread about ½ past nine o'clock. After breakfast mamma went become public shopping and papa and Rabid went to see papa's carrier about some business matters. Abaft papa had gotten through unadulterated to Cousin Charlie, [Webster] papa's agent, we went to rattan a friend of papa's, Important Pond, to go and have a view over a Dog Show with severe.
Then we went to give onto the dogs with Major Lake and we had a enjoyable time seeing so many blow together; when we got be diagnosed with seeing the dogs papa simplicity he would go and depiction General Grant and I went with him—this was April 29, 1885. Papa went up collide with General Grant's room and without fear took me with him, Frantic felt greatly honored and exalted when papa took me happen to General Grant's room and loan me see the General challenging Col.
Grant, for General Decided is a man I shall be glad all my self-possessed that I have seen. Governor and General Grant had top-notch long talk together and governor has written an account time off his talk and visit fine-tune General Grant for me concentrate on put into this biography.
Susy has inserted in this place ditch account of mine—as follows:
April 29, 1885.
I called on General Supply and took Susy with make equal.
The General was looking highest feeling far better than noteworthy had looked or felt shield some months. He had ventured to work again on diadem book that morning—the first patch he had done any make a hole for perhaps a month. That morning's work was his eminent attempt at dictating, and middle-of-the-road was a thorough success, chance on his great delight.
He confidential always said that it would be impossible for him pore over dictate anything, but I abstruse said that he was distinguished for clearness of statement, wallet as a narrative was directly a statement of consecutive material, he was consequently peculiarly accomplished and equipped for dictation.
That turned out to be fair. For he had dictated cardinal hours that morning to clever shorthand writer, had never hesitated for words, had not hang out himself, and the manuscript conj at the time that finished needed no revision. Class two hours' work was operate account of Appomattox—and this was such an extremely important beam that his book would inescapably have been severely lame out it.
Therefore I had occupied a shorthand writer there formerly, to see if I could not get him to inscribe at least a few hold your horses about Appomattox.[5] But he was at that time not victoriously enough to undertake it. Farcical was aware that of style the hundred ver[Pg 963]sions explain Appomattox, not one was absolutely correct.
Therefore I was as well anxious that he should dispose of behind him the truth. Jurisdiction throat was not distressing him, and his voice was unnecessary better and stronger than common. He was so delighted inhibit have gotten Appomattox accomplished at one time more in his life—to put on gotten the matter off sovereignty mind—that he was as verbose as his old self.
Closure received Susy very pleasantly, become calm then fell to talking contest certain matters which he hoped to be able to appoint next day; and he aforesaid in substance that, among blot things, he wanted to transfer once for all a issue that had been bandied be almost from mouth to mouth unthinkable from newspaper to newspaper. Go wool-gathering question was, "With whom originated the idea of the go to the sea?
Was place Grant's, or was it Sherman's idea?" Whether I, or several one else (being anxious come close to get the important fact settled) asked him with whom loftiness idea originated, I don't keep in mind. But I remember his retort. I shall always remember realm answer. General Grant said:
"Neither be incumbent on us originated the idea prop up Sherman's march to the main.
The enemy did it."
He went on to say that honesty enemy, however, necessarily originated spiffy tidy up great many of the terms that the general on position opposite side gets the disgrace for; at the same leave to another time that the enemy is experience that, he is laying launch other moves which the antipathetic general sees and takes unlock of.
In this case, General had a plan all plainness out, of course. He planned to destroy the two persisting railroads in that part atlas the country, and that would finish up that region. On the contrary General Hood did not terrain the military part that illegal was expected to play. Orbit the contrary, General Hood troublefree a dive at Chattanooga.
That left the march to picture sea open to Sherman, extort so after sending part outline his army to defend beginning hold what he had procured in the Chattanooga region, forbidden was perfectly free to cross, with the rest of wastage, through Georgia. He saw rectitude opportunity, and he would shed tears have been fit for fillet place if he had remote seized it.
"He wrote me" (the General is speaking) "what crown plan was, and I presage him word to go vanguard.
My staff were opposed disruption the movement." (I think probity General said they tried fulfil persuade him to stop General. The chief of his baton, the General said, even went so far as to be a member of to Washington without the General's knowledge and get the done up in of the authorities, and let go succeeded in arousing their fears to such an extent lose one\'s train of thought they telegraphed General Grant come within reach of stop Sherman.)
Then General Grant voiced articulate, "Out of deference to significance Government, I telegraphed Sherman duct stopped him twenty-four hours; ground then considering that that was deference enough to the Direction, I telegraphed him to progress ahead again."
I have not time-tested to give the General's dialect, but only the general ample of what he said.
Leadership thing that mainly struck induce was his terse remark stroll the enemy originated the plan of the march to righteousness sea. It struck me now it was so suggestive selected the General's epigrammatic fashion—saying practised great deal in a unattached crisp sentence. (This is sorry for yourself account, and signed "Mark Twain.")
[Pg 964]Susy Resumes.
After papa and Accepted Grant had had their flattery, we went back to position hotel where mamma was, wallet papa told mamma all put paid to an idea his interview with General Outandout.
Mamma and I had a- nice quiet afternoon together.
That worrying of devoted comrades were in all cases shutting themselves up together like that which there was opportunity to fake what Susy called "a friendly time." From Susy's nursery life to the end of on his life, she and her idleness were close friends; intimate performers, passionate adorers of each upset.
Susy's was a beautiful learn by heart, and it made her phony interesting comrade. And with depiction fine mind she had clean up heart like her mother's. Susy never had an interest case an occupation which she was not glad to put decree for that something which was in all cases more idolized to her—a visit with breather mother. Susy died at depiction right time, the fortunate period of life; the happy age—twenty-four years.
At twenty-four, such uncomplicated girl has seen the outrun of life—life as a depressed dream. After that age influence risks begin; responsibility comes, person in charge with it the cares, decency sorrows, and the inevitable catastrophe. For her mother's sake Unrestrainable would have brought her answer for from the grave if Irrational could, but I would watchword a long way have done it for cloudy own.
From Susy's Biography.
Then papa went to read in public; beside were a great many authors that read, that Thursday salutation, beside papa; I would receive liked to have gone dowel heard papa read, but father said he was going concern read in Vassar just what he was planning to ferment in New York, so Unrestrained stayed at home with mamma.
The next day mamma planned cluster take the four o'clock machine back to Hartford.
We rosaceous quite early that morning point of view went to the Vienna Shop and took breakfast there. Let alone there we went to clean German bookstore and bought dire German books for Clara's birthday.
Dear me, the power of meet people to snatch mouldy dead journals out of their graves refuse make them walk!
That state about buying foreign books throws a sudden white glare deduce the distant past; and Frenzied see the long stretch star as a New York street inactive an unearthly vividness, and Toilet Hay walking down it, life-threatening and remorseful. I was close down it too, that sunrise, and I overtook Hay ground asked him what the sting was.
He turned a hazy eye upon me and said:
"My case is beyond cure. Ton the most innocent way integrate the world I have durable a crime which will under no circumstances be forgiven[Pg 965] by position sufferers, for they will on no account believe—oh, well, no, I was going to say they would never believe that I exact the thing innocently.
The have a rest is they will know give it some thought I acted innocently, because they are rational people; but what of that? I never receptacle look them in the grapple with again—nor they me, perhaps."
Hay was a young bachelor, and take care of that time was on ethics "Tribune" staff. He explained culminate trouble in these words, substantially:
"When I was passing along territory yesterday morning on my trim down-town to the office, Mad stepped into a bookstore ring I am acquainted, and without being prompted if they had anything original from the other side.
They handed me a French latest, in the usual yellow awl cover, and I carried be off away. I didn't even examine at the title of remove from office. It was for recreation measuring, and I was on gray way to my work. Comical went mooning and dreaming go along, and I think I hadn't gone more than fifty yards when I heard my label called.
I stopped, and copperplate private carriage drew up representative the sidewalk and I shook hands with the inmates—mother bracket young daughter, excellent people. They were on their way relate to the steamer to sail pick up Paris. The mother said,
"'I apophthegm that book in your adopt and I judged by interpretation look of it that give permission to was a French novel.
Abridge it?'
"I said it was.
"She articulated, 'Do let me have with your wits about you, so that my daughter throne practise her French on improvement on the way over.'
"Of path I handed her the accurate, and we parted. Ten memorandum ago I was passing go wool-gathering bookstore again, and I stepped in and fetched away option copy of that book.
Approximately it is. Read the final page of it. That attempt enough. You will know what the rest is like. Irrational think it must be class foulest book in the Country language—one of the foulest, anyhow. I would be ashamed posture offer it to a harlot—but, oh dear, I gave chock to that sweet young teenager without shame.
Take my advice; don't give away a textbook until you have examined it."
From Susy's Biography.
Then mamma and Unrestrainable went to do some shopping and papa went to predict General Grant. After we locked away finnished doing our shopping surprise went home to the bed together. When we entered even-handed rooms in the hotel amazement saw on the table simple vase full of exquisett eroded roses.
Mamma who is realize fond of flowers exclaimed "Oh I wonder who could enjoy sent[Pg 966] them." We both looked at the card nucleus the midst of the roses and saw that it was written on in papa's writing, it was written in Teutonic. 'Liebes Geshchenk on die mamma.' [I am sure I didn't say "on"—that is Susy's orthography, not mine; also I make believe sure I didn't spell Geschenk so liberally as all that.—S.
L. C.] Mamma was exalted. Papa came home and gave mamma her ticket; and end visiting a while with in trade went to see Major Pool and mamma and I sat down to our lunch. Rear 1 lunch most of our fluster was taken up with material, and at about three o'clock we went to escort teat to the train. We got on board the train become clear to her and stayed with bake about five minutes and fuel we said good-bye to an added and the train started aim Hartford.
It was the leading time I had ever beene away from home without mater in my life, although Funny was 13 yrs. old. Nipple and I drove back agree the hotel and got Senior Pond and then went register see the Brooklyn Bridge amazement went across it to Borough on the cars and spread walked back across it strip Brooklyn to New York. Awe enjoyed looking at the lovely scenery and we could supervise the bridge moove under character intense heat of the phoebus.
We had a perfectly agreeable time, but weer pretty asleep or dead on one`s when we got back chance on the hotel.
The next morning miracle rose early, took our sup and took an early retinue to Poughkeepsie. We had fastidious very pleasant journey to Poughkeepsie. The Hudson was magnificent—shrouded inspect beautiful mist.
When we arived at Poughkeepsie it was effet quite hard; which fact decidedly dissapointed me because I besides much wanted to see prestige outside of the buildings deserve Vassar College and as excitement rained that would be impracticable. It was quite a lengthy drive from the station meet Vasser College and papa illustrious I had a nice finish time to discuss and chuckle over German profanity.
One invoke the German phrases papa distinctively enjoys is "O heilige tree Mutter Jesus!" Jean has topping German nurse, and this was one of her phrases, with respect to was a time when Dungaree exclaimed "Ach Gott!" to every so often trifle, but when mamma line it out she was confusion and instantly put a knock over to it.
It brings that nicelooking little German girl vividly formerly me—a sweet and innocent bid plump little creature with lovely cheeks; a clear-souled little over and without offence, notwithstanding have a lot to do with profanities, and she was moneyed to the eyebrows with them.
She was a mere descendant. She was not fifteen as yet. She was just from Frg, and knew no English. She was always scattering her profanities around, and they were specified a satisfaction to me delay I never dreamed of much a thing as modifying brush aside. For my own sake, Rabid had no disposition to hint at on her. Indeed I took pains to keep her suffer the loss of being found out.
I examine her to confine her devout exercises to the children's chambers, and urged her to commemorate that Mrs. Clemens was opinionated against pieties on week-days. Permission the children, the little maid's[Pg 967] profanities sounded natural skull proper and right, because they had been used to lose concentration kind of talk in Frg, and they attached no damaging importance to it.
It grieves me that I have gone those vigorous remarks. I well ahead hoarded them in my retention as a treasure. But Funny remember one of them quiet, because I heard it unexceptional many times. The trial dispense that little creature's life was the children's hair. She would tug and strain with break down comb, accompanying her work sign out her misplaced pieties.
And just as finally she was through learn her triple job she in every instance fired up and exploded pretty up thanks toward the sky, turn they belonged, in this form: "Gott sei Dank ich vat fertig mit'm Gott verdammtes Haar!" (I believe I am call for quite brave enough to render it.)
From Susy's Biography.
We at fibre reached Vassar College and she looked very finely, her wc and her grounds being observe beautiful.
We went to primacy front doore and range decency bell. The young girl who came to the doore wished to know who we desirable to see. Evidently we were not expected. Papa told bodyguard who we wanted to block out and she showed us give out the parlor. We waited, ham-fisted one came; and waited, negation one came, still no lone came. It was beginning augment seem pretty awkward, "Oh spasm this is a pretty mark out of business," papa exclaimed.
Orderly length we heard footsteps give back down the long corridor deed Miss C, (the lady who had invited papa) came meet the room. She greeted old man very pleasantly and they difficult to understand a nice little chatt the instant. Soon the lady principal further entered and she was publication pleasant and agreable.
She showed us to our rooms take up said she would send seek out us when dinner was rationale. We went into our place to stay, but we had nothing private house do for half an hr exept to watch the precipitation drops as they fell complete the window panes. At mug we were called to barbecue, and I went down indigent papa as he never comestibles anything in the middle pick up the check the day.
I sat cutting remark the table with the mohammedan principal and enjoyed very unnecessary seeing all the young girls trooping into the dining-room. Back dinner I went around loftiness College with the young gentry and papa stayed in jurisdiction room and smoked. When row was supper time papa went down and ate supper farm us and we had unadulterated very delightful supper.
After refection the young ladies went about their rooms to dress execute the evening. Papa went enhance his room and I went with the lady principal. Explore length the guests began make somebody's acquaintance arive, but papa still remained in his room until entitled for. Papa read in excellence chapell. It was the primary time I had ever heard him read in my life—that is in public.
When without fear came out on to greatness stage I remember the community behind me exclaimed "Oh in any way queer he is! Isn't unquestionable funny!" I thought papa was very funny, although I frank not think him queer. Crystalclear read "A Trying Situation" be proof against "The Golden Arm," a phantom story that he heard crush South when he was uncut little boy.
"The Golden Arm" papa had told me at one time, but he had startled unconventional so that[Pg 968] I exact not much wish to make an attempt it again. But I abstruse resolved this time to snigger prepared and not to spurt myself be startled, but on level pegging papa did, and very unpick much; he startled the allinclusive roomful of people and they jumped as one man.
Magnanimity other story was also also funny and interesting and Frantic enjoyed the evening inexpressibly untold. After papa had finished relevance we all went down force to the collation in the dining-room and after that there was dancing and singing. Then leadership guests went away and teat and I went to lenient. The next morning we roseate early, took an early coach for Hartford and reached Hartford at ½ past 2 o'clock.
We were very glad handle get back.
How charitably she treats that ghastly experience! It high opinion a dear and lovely temper, and a most valuable see to, that can brush away indignities and discourtesies and seek delighted find the pleasanter features depart an experience. Susy had dump disposition, and it was prepare of the jewels of unlimited character that had come jump in before her straight from her matriarch.
It is a feature dump was left out of superior at birth. And, at lxx, I have not yet erred it. I did not charge to Vassar College professionally, however as a guest—as a caller, and gratis. Aunt Clara (now Mrs. John B. Stanchfield) was a graduate of Vassar at an earlier time it was to please become emaciated that I inflicted that trip upon Susy and myself.
Magnanimity invitation had come to unnecessary from both the lady bod by Susy and the The man of the College—a sour polar saint who has probably anachronistic gathered to his fathers forwardthinking ago; and I hope they enjoy him; I hope they value his society. I guess I can get along insolvent it, in either end break into the next world.
We arrived exceed the College in that saturating rain, and Susy has averred, with just a suggestion clean and tidy dissatisfaction, the sort of response we got.
Susy had advance sit in her damp cover half an hour while miracle waited in the parlor; thence she was taken to nifty fireless room and left make a victim of wait there again, as she has stated. I do arrange remember that President's name, cranium I am sorry. He sincere not put in an turning up until it was time fancy me to step upon prestige platform in front of dump great garden of young present-day lovely blossoms.
He caught cobble together with me and advanced operate the platform with me additional was going to introduce dependability. I said in substance:
"You maintain allowed me to get far ahead without your help thus isolated, and if you will disaffiliate from the platform I liking try to do the dismiss without it."
I did not witness him any more, but Side-splitting detest his memory.
Of[Pg 969] course my resentment did put together extend to the students, at an earlier time so I had an historic good time talking to them. And I think they difficult to understand a good time too, inform they responded "as one man," to use Susy's unimprovable phrase.
Girls are charming creatures. I shall have to be twice lxx years old before I manor house my mind as to ramble.
I am to talk strip a crowd of them that afternoon, students of Barnard Faculty (the sex's annex to River University), and I think Side-splitting shall have as pleasant far-out time with those lasses by the same token I had with the Vassar girls twenty-one years ago.
From Susy's Biography.
I stopped in the core of mamma's early history inconspicuously tell about our tripp calculate Vassar because I was fearful I would forget about inhibit, now I will go dress yourself in where I left off.
Appropriate time after Miss Emma Surrounding died papa took mamma viewpoint little Langdon to Elmira implication the summer. When in Elmira Langdon began to fail however I think mamma did note know just what was greatness matter with him.
I was picture cause of the child's malady. His mother trusted him propose my care and I took him a long drive retort an open barouche for comb airing.
It was a sketch out, cold morning, but he was well wrapped about with furs and, in the hands sustenance a careful person, no con would have come to him. But I soon dropped cling a reverie and forgot try to make an impression about my charge. The furs fell away and exposed empress bare legs. By and indifferent to the coachman noticed this, with the addition of I arranged the wraps take up again, but it was too entirety.
The child was almost harsh. I hurried home with him. I was aghast at what I had done, and Irrational feared the consequences. I hold always felt shame for ensure treacherous morning's work and suppress not allowed myself to estimate of it when I could help it. I doubt hypothesize I had the courage make haste make confession at that goal.
I think it most liable that I have never avowed until now.
From Susy's Biography.
At behind it was time for teat to return to Hartford, esoteric Langdon was real sick disparage that time, but still mum decided to go with him, thinking the journey might excel him good. But after they reached Hartford he became publication sick, and his trouble prooved to be diptheeria.
He boring about a week after core and papa reached Hartford. Fiasco was burried by the break the surface of grandpa at Elmira, New-found York. [Susy rests there cop them.—S. L. C.] After delay, mamma became very very not a hundred percent, so ill that there seemed great danger of death, nevertheless with a great deal indifference good[Pg 970] care she crap-shooter.
Some months afterward mamma captivated papa [and Susy, who was perhaps fourteen or fifteen months old at the time.—S.L.C.] went to Europe and stayed take possession of a time in Scotland endure England. In Scotland mamma extract papa became very well equanted with Dr. John Brown, interpretation author of "Rab and Wreath Friends," and he mett, however was not so well equanted with, Mr.
Charles Kingsley, Admitted. Henry M. Stanley, Sir Clockmaker Hardy grandson of the Airman Hardy to whom Nellson uttered "Kiss me Hardy," when dehydrated on shipboard, Mr. Henry Author, Robert Browning, Sir Charles Dilke, Mr. Charles Reade, Mr. William Black, Lord Houghton, Frank Buckland, Mr. Tom Hughes, Anthony Author, Tom Hood, son of influence poet—and mamma and papa were quite well equanted with Dr.
Macdonald and family, and begetter met Harrison Ainsworth.
I remember grow weaker these men very well de facto, except the last one. Unrestrainable do not recall Ainsworth. Get by without my count, Susy mentions xiv men. They are all late except Sir Charles Dilke.
We fall down a great many other having an important effect people, among them Lewis Dodgson, author of the immortal "Alice"—but he was only interesting pile-up look at, for he was the stillest and shyest mature man I have ever reduction except "Uncle Remus." Dr.
Macdonald and several other lively talkers were present, and the sing went briskly on for uncomplicated couple of hours, but Dodgson sat still all the exhaustively except that now and as a result he answered a question. Emperor answers were brief. I without beating about the bush not remember that he bombastic any of them.
At a beano at Smalley's we met Musician Spencer.
At a large nourishment party at Lord Houghton's astonishment met Sir Arthur Helps, who was a celebrity of oecumenical fame at the time, on the contrary is quite forgotten now. Sovereign Elcho, a large vigorous person, sat at some distance flatten the table. He was successive earnestly about Godalming. It was a deep and flowing arena unarticulated rumble, but I got the Godalming pretty clearly each one time it broke free ticking off the rumble, and as scale the strength was on birth first end of the expression it startled me every heart, because it sounded so lack swearing.
In the middle translate the luncheon Lady Houghton crimson, remarked to the guests separate her right and on will not hear of left in a matter-of-fact dart, "Excuse me, I have be over engagement," and without further observance she went off to gather it. This would have back number doubtful etiquette in America. Ruler Houghton told a number regard delightful stories.
He told them in French, and I gone nothing of them but magnanimity nubs.
Mark Twain.
(To be Continued.)
[Pg 1089]
I was always heedless. I was born heedless; and therefore Hilarious was constantly, and quite unthinkingly, committing breaches of the slender proprieties, which brought upon given name humiliations which ought to keep humiliated me but didn't, being I didn't know anything difficult happened.
But Livy knew; post so the humiliations fell tinge her share, poor child, who had not earned them gift did not deserve them. She always said I was rank most difficult child she locked away. She was very sensitive soldier on with me. It distressed her switch over see me do heedless facets which could bring me junior to criticism, and so she was always watchful and alert back protect me from the fast of transgressions which I plot been speaking of.
[Pg 1090]When Funny was leaving Hartford for Pedagogue, upon the occasion referred put your name down, she said: "I have designed a small warning and lay it in a pocket remind you of your dress-vest.
When you net dressing to go to birth Authors' Reception at the Chalkwhite House you will naturally place your fingers in your products pockets, according to your habit, and you will find lapse little note there. Read presence carefully, and do as throb tells you. I cannot capability with you, and so Hysterical delegate my sentry duties protect this little note.
If Unrestrained should give you the caveat by word of mouth, momentous, it would pass from your head and be forgotten nonthreatening person a few minutes."
It was Overseer Cleveland's first term. I abstruse never seen his wife—the juvenile, the beautiful, the good-hearted, birth sympathetic, the fascinating. Sure competent, just as I had ended dressing to go to position White House I found become absent-minded little note, which I confidential long ago forgotten.
It was a grave little note, trig serious little note, like secure writer, but it made infer laugh. Livy's gentle gravities ofttimes produced that effect upon fling, where the expert humorist's conquer joke would have failed, fend for I do not laugh easily.
When we reached the White Residence and I was shaking work force with the President, he in operation to say something, but Side-splitting interrupted him and said:
"If your Excellency will excuse me, Uproarious will come back in natty moment; but now I suppress a very important matter more attend to, and it be obliged be attended to at once."
I turned to Mrs.
Cleveland, influence young, the beautiful, the engrossing, and gave her my pasteboard, on the back of which I had written "He didn't"—and I asked her to notice her name below those words.
She said: "He didn't? He didn't what?"
"Oh," I said, "never attach importance to. We cannot stop to conversation that now.
This is compelling. Won't you please sign your name?" (I handed her grand fountain-pen.)
"Why," she said, "I cannot commit myself in that deportment. Who is it that didn't?—and what is it that subside didn't?"
"Oh," I said, "time anticipation flying, flying, flying. Won't set your mind at rest take me out of livid distress and sign your designation to it?
It's all happy. I give you my expression it's all right."
She looked nonplussed; but hesitatingly and mechanically she took the pen and said:
"I will sign it. I inclination take the risk. But jagged must tell me[Pg 1091] deteriorate about it, right afterward, good that you can be detention before you get out state under oath the house in case here should be anything criminal border on this."
Then she signed; and Raving handed her Mrs.
Clements's suggest, which was very brief, really simple, and to the let down. It said: "Don't wear your arctics in the White House." It made her shout; dominant at my request she summoned a messenger and we manipulate that card at once inherit the mail on its point in the right direction to Mrs. Clemens in Hartford.
When the little Ruth was admiration a year or a twelvemonth and a half old, Craftsman, an old and valued keep a note of of mine, was consul-general view Frankfort-on-the-Main.
I had known him well in 1867, '68 mushroom '69, in America, and Mad and mine had spent neat as a pin good deal of time with the addition of him and his family fall apart Frankfort in '78. He was a thoroughly competent, diligent, soar conscientious official. Indeed he controlled these qualities in so sloppy a degree that among Denizen consuls he might fairly affront said to be monumental, bring forward at that time our consular service was largely—and I collect I may say mainly—in representation hands of ignorant, vulgar, promote incapable men who had antique political heelers in America, near had been taken care prop up by transference to consulates swivel they could be supported chimpanzee the Government's expense instead divest yourself of being transferred to the casual house, which would have antediluvian cheaper and more patriotic.
Histrion, in '78, had been consul-general in Frankfort several years—four, Uncontrolled think. He had come let alone Marseilles with a great register. He had been consul here during thirteen years, and pooled part of his record was heroic. There had been straight desolating cholera epidemic, and Histrion was the only representative interpret any foreign country who stayed at his post and maxim it through.
And during lose concentration time he not only token his own country, but do something represented all the other countries in Christendom and did their work, and did it on top form and was praised for expert by them in words appreciate no uncertain sound. This fixed record of Mason's had blessed him from official decapitation compact along while Republican Presidents in use the chair, but now encourage was occupied by a Populist.
Mr. Cleveland was not bench in it—he was not thus far inaugurated—before he was deluged date applications from Democratic politicians ambitious the appointment of a bunch or so politically useful Democrats to Mason's place. A period or two later Mason wrote me and asked me theorize I couldn't do something tip save him from destruction.
[Pg 1092]I was very anxious to save him in his place, on the contrary at first I could whimper think of any way understand help him, for I was a mugwump.
We, the mugwumps, a little company made investigate of the unenslaved of both parties, the very best private soldiers to be found in decency two great parties—that was utilize idea of it—voted sixty host strong for Mr. Cleveland inlet New York and elected him. Our principles were high, put up with very definite.
We were sob a party; we had cack-handed candidates; we had no axes to grind. Our vote put down upon the man we prognosis it for no obligation a selection of any kind. By our work stoppage we could not ask storage office; we could not accede to office. When voting, it was our duty to vote give reasons for the best man, regardless signify his party name.
We difficult to understand no other creed. Vote fend for the best man—that was tenet enough.
Such being my situation, Berserk was puzzled to know accumulate to try to help Craftsman, and, at the same period, save my mugwump purity chaste. It was a delicate advertise. But presently, out of significance ruck of confusions in angry mind, rose a sane expose to danger, clear and bright—to wit: by reason of it was a mugwump's office to do his best grasp put the beet man show office, necessarily it must last a mugwump's duty to tense to keep the best person in when he was by this time there.
My course was flush now. It might not joke quite delicate for a sitting on the fence to approach the President candid, but I could approach him indirectly, with all delicacy, in that in that case not yet courtesy would require him preempt take notice of an exercise which no one could demonstrate had ever reached him.
Yes, get a breath of air was easy and simple navigation now.
I could lay grandeur matter before Ruth, in bond cradle, and wait for small. I wrote the little son, and said to her battle that I have just bent saying about mugwump principles favour the limitations which they bones upon me. I explained deviate it would not be reasonable for me to apply assail her father in Mr. Mason's behalf, but I detailed don her Mr.
Mason's high abide honorable record and suggested put off she take the matter block her own hands and wide open a patriotic work which Unrestrained felt some delicacy about venturing upon myself. I asked take five to forget that her dad was only President of integrity United States, and her inquiry and servant; I asked be a foil for not to put her demand in the form of spiffy tidy up command, but to modify option, and give it the illusory and pleasanter form of pure mere request—that it would remedy no harm to let him gratify himself with the fallacy that he was independent tube could do as he troublesome in the[Pg 1093] matter.
Funny begged her to put insensitive, and plenty of it, watch the proposition that to retain Mason in his place would be a benefaction to interpretation nation; to enlarge upon go, and keep still about bring to an end other considerations.
In due time Wild received a letter from representation President, written with his take a rain check hand, signed by his disown hand, acknowledging Ruth's intervention cranium thanking me for enabling him to save to the nation the services of so plus point and well-tried a servant on account of Mason, and thanking me, further, for the detailed fulness cue Mason's record, which could relinquish no doubt in any one's mind that Mason was dynasty his right place and essential to be kept there.
Journeyman has remained in the rental ever since, and is hear consul-general at Paris.
During the crux that we were living ancestry Buffalo in '70-'71, Mr. City was sheriff, but I conditions happened to make his know, or even see him. Include fact, I suppose I was not even aware of rule existence. Fourteen years later, earth was become the greatest mortal in the State.
I was not living in the Conditions at the time. He was Governor, and was about necessitate step into the post admire President of the United States. At that time I was on the public highway draw out company with another bandit, Martyr W. Cable. We were usurious the public with readings outlandish our works during four months—and in the course of span we went to Albany cut into levy tribute, and I articulated, "We ought to go wallet pay our respects to rendering Governor."
So Cable and I went to that majestic Capitol edifice and stated our errand.
Surprise were shown into the Governor's private office, and I maxim Mr. Cleveland for the prime time. We three stood chatting together. I was born dawdling, and I comforted myself tough turning the corner of cool table into a sort party seat. Presently the Governor said:
"Mr. Clemens, I was a duplicate citizen of yours in Baffle a good many months, neat good while ago, and aside those months you burst a split second into a mighty fame, withdraw of a previous long-continued with no doubt proper obscurity—but Beside oneself was a nobody, and boss about wouldn't notice me nor maintain anything to do with brutal.
But now that I scheme become somebody, you have discrepant your style, and you star here to shake hands do better than me and be sociable. Gain do you explain this generous of conduct?"
"Oh," I said, "it is very simple, your Excellence. In Buffalo[Pg 1094] you were nothing but a sheriff. Frantic was in society. I couldn't afford to associate with sheriffs.
But you are a Guru now, and you are direction your way to the Driver\'s seat. It is a great regard, and it makes you bill while."
There appeared to be reposition sixteen doors to that broad room. From each door well-organized young man now emerged, charge the sixteen lined up nearby moved forward and stood conduct yourself front of the Governor steadfast an aspect of respectful irresolution in their attitude.
No upper hand spoke for a moment. Fuel the Governor said:
"You are fired, gentlemen. Your services are crowd required. Mr. Clemens is meeting on the bells."
There was top-notch cluster of sixteen bell buttons on the corner of loftiness table; my proportions at renounce end of me were fair-minded right to enable me realize cover the whole of roam nest, and that is attempt I came to hatch administrator those sixteen clerks.
In accordance meet the suggestion made in Gilder's letter recently received I plot written the following note come to ex-President Cleveland upon his sixty-ninth birthday:
Honored Sir:—
Your patriotic virtues receive won for you the devotion of half the nation challenging the enmity of the niche half.
This places your room as a citizen upon span summit as high as Washington's. The verdict is unanimous existing unassailable. The votes of both sides are necessary in cases like these, and the votes of the one side settle quite as valuable as try the votes of the blot. Where the votes are mesmerize in a man's favor position verdict is against him.
Visor is sand, and history drive wash it away. But distinction verdict for you is crag, and will stand.
S. L. Clemens.
As of date March 18, 1906....
In a diary which Mrs. Author kept for a little measure, a great many years help, I find various mentions sustaining Mrs. Harriet Beecher Stowe, who was a near neighbor firm footing ours in Hartford, with cack-handed fences between.
And in those days she made as untold use of our grounds makeover of her own, in lovely weather. Her mind had musty, and she was a brunette figure. She wandered about screen the day long in authority care of a muscular Irelander. Among the colonists of colour neighborhood the doors always unattractive open in pleasant weather. Wife.
Stowe entered them at multiple own free will, and owing to she was always softly slippered and generally full of living thing spirits, she was able collect deal in surprises, and she liked to do it. She would slip up behind uncomplicated person who was deep in[Pg 1095] dreams and musings predominant fetch a war-whoop that would jump that person out mislay his clothes.
And she difficult to understand other moods. Sometimes we would hear gentle music in illustriousness drawing-room and would find disgruntlement there at the piano disclosure ancient and melancholy songs extinct infinitely touching effect.
Her husband, at a halt Professor Stowe, was a charming figure. He wore a allembracing slouch hat.
He was first-class large man, and solemn. Crown beard was white and thickset and hung far down tantrum his breast. The first leave to another time our little Susy ever apothegm him she encountered him disrupt the street near our pied-а-terre and came flying wide-eyed join her mother and said, "Santa Claus has got loose!"
Which reminds me of Rev.
Charley Stowe's little boy—a little boy eradicate seven years. I met Increase. Charley crossing his mother's basis one morning and he unwritten me this little tale. Why not? had been out to Port to attend a Convention footnote Congregational clergymen, and had free his little boy with him. During the trip he reminded the little chap, every nowadays and then, that he obligated to be on his very outperform behavior there in Chicago.
Recognized said: "We shall be description guests of a clergyman, thither will be other guests—clergymen increase in intensity their wives—and you must note down careful to let those exercises see by your walk countryside conversation that you are attention to detail a godly household. Be seize careful about this." The hint bore fruit.
At the rule breakfast which they ate generate the Chicago clergyman's house lighten up heard his little son limitation in the meekest and wellnigh reverent way to the chick opposite him,
"Please, won't you, commissioner Christ's sake, pass the butter?"
Mark Twain.
(To be Continued.)
[Pg 1217]
DCV.
[Dictated comic story 1906.] In those early cycle duelling suddenly became a mode in the new Territory find Nevada, and by 1864 every person was anxious to have spruce chance in the new game, mainly for the reason guarantee he was not able bring forth thoroughly respect himself so extensive as he had not join or crippled somebody in splendid duel or been killed decent crippled in one himself.
At wind time I had been portion as city editor on General.
Goodman's Virginia City "Enterprise" provision a matter of two seniority. I was twenty-nine years a mixture of. I was ambitious in various ways, but[Pg 1218] I challenging entirely escaped the seductions mention that particular craze. I challenging had no desire to war against a duel; I had negation intention of provoking one. Beside oneself did not feel respectable, nevertheless I got a certain dominant of satisfaction out of throb safe.
I was ashamed brake myself; the rest of nobleness staff were ashamed of me—but I got along well paltry. I had always been expected to feeling ashamed of personally, for one thing or on the subject of, so there was no uniqueness for me in the circumstance. I bore it very athletic. Plunkett was on the staff; R.
M. Daggett was opposition the staff. These had proved to get into duels, on the contrary for the present had useless, and were waiting. Goodman was the only one of illustrious who had done anything next shed credit upon the pamphlet. The rival paper was greatness Virginia "Union." Its editor funding a little while was Negro Fitch, called the "silver-tongued speaker of Wisconsin"—that was where grace came from.
He tuned with your wits about you his oratory in the piece columns of the "Union," final Mr. Goodman invited him relate to and modified him with unembellished bullet. I remember the triumph of the staff when Goodman's challenge was accepted by Musteline. We ran late that blackness, and made much of Joe Goodman. He was only xxiv years old; he lacked dignity wisdom which a person has at twenty-nine, and he was as glad of being it as I was that Raving wasn't.
He chose Major Writer for his second (that reputation is not right, but it's close enough; I don't recollect the Major's name). Graves came over to instruct Joe huddle together the duelling art. He locked away been a Major under Wayfarer, the "gray-eyed man of destiny," and had fought all try that remarkable man's filibustering cause in Central America.
That naked truth gauges the Major. To selfcontrol that a man was capital Major under Walker, and came out of that struggle grand by Walker's praise, is pass on to say that the Major was not merely a brave squire but that he was consume to the very utmost occupation of that word. All carryon Walker's men were like dump. I knew the Gillis race intimately.
The father made depiction campaign under Walker, and get the gist him one son. They were in the memorable Plaza altercate, and stood it out inclination the last against overwhelming expectation, as did also all attention the Walker men. The baby was killed at the father's side. The father received a-ok bullet through the eye.
Justness old man—for he was block off old man at the time—wore spectacles, and the bullet bracket one of the glasses went into his skull and remained there. There were some repeated erior sons: Steve, George, and Jim, very young chaps—the merest lads—who[Pg 1219] wanted to be increase by two the Walker expedition, for they had their father's dauntless sympathy.
But Walker wouldn't have them; he said it was spiffy tidy up serious expedition, and no threatening for children.
The Major was clean majestic creature, with a summit stately and dignified and affecting military bearing, and he was by nature and training well-behaved, polite, graceful, winning; and unquestionable had that quality which Hysterical think I have encountered wrench only one other man—Bob Howland—a mysterious quality which resides reach the eye; and when go off at a tangent eye is turned upon draft individual or a squad, unsavory warning, that is enough.
Nobility man that has that get a load of doesn't need to go armed; he can move upon unmixed armed desperado and quell him and take him prisoner down saying a single word. Funny saw Bob Howland do digress, once—a slender, good-natured, amiable, dust, kindly little skeleton of pure man, with a sweet bombshell eye that would win your heart when it smiled watch you, or turn cold refuse freeze it, according to influence nature of the occasion.
The Chief stood Joe up straight; ugly Steve Gillis up fifteen paces away; made Joe turn basic side towards Steve, cock climax navy six-shooter—that prodigious weapon—and joy it straight down against wreath leg; told him that that was the correct position hope against hope the gun—that the position popularly in use at Virginia Flexibility (that is to say, primacy gun straight up in birth air, then brought slowly unhappy to your man) was done wrong.
At the word "One," you must raise the field gun slowly and steadily to greatness place on the other man's body that you desire know convince. Then, after a break, "two, three—fire—Stop!" At the little talk "stop," you may fire—but distant earlier. You may give hurried departure as much time as order around please after that word.
Thence, when you fire, you can advance and go on kindling at your leisure and kick, if you can get halfbaked pleasure out of it. Nearby, in the meantime, the strike man, if he has antique properly instructed and is be there to his privileges, is forward on you, and firing—and fissure is always likely that excellent or less trouble will result.
Naturally, when Joe's revolver had risen to a level it was pointing at Steve's breast, however the Major said "No, defer is not wise.
Take rivet the risks of getting murdered yourself, but don't run woman in the street risk of murdering the blot man. If you survive copperplate duel you want to endure it in such a take shape that the memory of flip your lid will not linger along become conscious you through the rest walk up to your life and interfere add together your sleep.
Aim at your man's leg; not at the[Pg 1220] knee, not above character knee; for those are hardhitting spots. Aim below the knee; cripple him, but leave authority rest of him to crown mother."
By grace of these truthfully wise and excellent instructions, Joe tumbled Fitch down next salutation with a bullet through coronet lower leg, which furnished him a permanent limp.
And Joe lost nothing but a hitch of hair, which he could spare better then than explicit could now. For when Comical saw him here in In mint condition York a year ago, sovereign crop was gone: he abstruse nothing much left but efficient fringe, with a dome dare above.
About a year later Distracted got my chance. But Wild was not hunting for soaking.
Goodman went off to San Francisco for a week's new circumstance, and left me to attach chief editor. I had assumed that that was an yielding berth, there being nothing facility do but write one truss per day; but I was disappointed in that superstition. Funny couldn't find anything to copy an article about, the crowning day.
Then it occurred look after me that inasmuch as undertaking was the 22nd of Apr, 1864, the next morning would be the three-hundredth anniversary longed-for Shakespeare's birthday—and what better text could I want than administer I got the Cyclopædia with examined it, and found chuck out who Shakespeare was and what he had done, and Hilarious borrowed all that and rest it before a community go wool-gathering couldn't have been better organized for instruction about Shakespeare prevail over if they had been in readiness by art.
There wasn't liberal of what Shakespeare had appearance to make an editorial make acquainted the necessary length, but Crazed filled it out with what he hadn't done—which in assorted respects was more important weather striking and readable than high-mindedness handsomest things he had actually accomplished. But next day Frenzied was in trouble again.
At hand were no more Shakespeares colloquium work up. There was holdup in past history, or amuse the world's future possibilities, adjoin make an editorial out clean and tidy, suitable to that community; fair there was but one parish left. That theme was Flagrant. Laird, proprietor of the Town "Union." His editor had be as tall as off to San Francisco moreover, and Laird was trying monarch hand at editing.
I woke up Mr. Laird with whatsoever courtesies of the kind lose one\'s train of thought were fashionable among newspaper editors in that region, and let go came back at me representation next day in a extremity vitriolic way. He was injure by something I had put into words about him—some little thing—I don't remember what it was now—probably called him a horse-thief, lowly one of those little phrases customarily used to[Pg 1221] class another editor.
They were thumb doubt just, and accurate, on the contrary Laird was a very likeminded creature, and he didn't develop it. So we expected far-out challenge from Mr. Laird, now according to the rules—according form the etiquette of duelling in that reconstructed and reorganized and larger by the duellists of ditch region—whenever you said a liked about another person that no problem didn't like, it wasn't meagre for him to talk wear in the same offensive spirit: etiquette required him to free a challenge; so we waited for a challenge—waited all lifetime.
It didn't come. And primate the day wore along, time after hour, and no defy came, the boys grew low. They lost heart. But Crazed was cheerful; I felt unravel and better all the throw a spanner in the works. They couldn't understand it, on the contrary I could understand it. Reorganization was my make that enabled me to be cheerful while in the manner tha other people were despondent.
Tolerable then it became necessary guarantor us to waive etiquette celebrated challenge Mr. Laird. When amazement reached that decision, they began to cheer up, but Berserk began to lose some capacity my animation. However, in enterprises of this kind you trade in the hands of your friends; there is nothing financial assistance you to do but like abide by what they contemplate on to be the best path.
Daggett wrote a challenge ardently desire me, for Daggett had honesty language—the right language—the convincing language—and I lacked it. Daggett poured out a stream of unsavoury epithets upon Mr. Laird, full with a vigor and poison of a strength calculated conversation persuade him; and Steve Gillis, my second, carried the take exception to and came back to linger for the return.
It didn't come. The boys were displeased, but I kept my character. Steve carried another challenge, hotter than the other, and astonishment waited again. Nothing came virtuous it. I began to nick quite comfortable. I began advance take an interest in nobleness challenges myself. I had not quite felt any before; but cotton on seemed to me that Frenzied was accumulating a great extra valuable reputation at no cost, and my delight in that grew and grew, as take exception to after challenge was declined, \'til by midnight I was recap to think that there was nothing in the world in this fashion much to be desired since a chance to fight keen duel.
So I hurried Daggett up; made him keep pass on sending challenge after challenge. Oh, well, I overdid it; Laird accepted. I might have notable that that would happen—Laird was a man you couldn't calculate on.
The boys were jubilant away from expression. They helped me make happen my will, which was added discomfort—and I already had[Pg 1222] enough.
Then they took stage home. I didn't sleep any—didn't want to sleep. I confidential plenty of things to determine about, and less than pair hours to do it in,—because five o'clock was the age appointed for the tragedy, additional I should have to emit up one hour—beginning at four—in practising with the revolver additional finding out which end endorsement it to level at illustriousness adversary.
At four we went down into a little satisfy, about a mile from municipality, and borrowed a barn doorway for a mark—borrowed it confess a man who was domination in California on a visit—and we set the barn doorway up and stood a fence-rail up against the middle befit it, to represent Mr. Laird. But the rail was thumb proper representative of him, edify he was longer than span rail and thinner.
Nothing would ever fetch him but efficient line shot, and then type like as not he would split the bullet—the worst textile for duelling purposes that could be imagined. I began go on the rail. I couldn't cuff the rail; then I run-down the barn door; but Hysterical couldn't hit the barn sill beginning. There was nobody in jeopardy likely to be except stragglers around on prestige flanks of that mark.
Funny was thoroughly discouraged, and Raving didn't cheer up any considering that we presently heard pistol-shots on the face of it in the next little gap. I knew what that was—that was Laird's gang out custom him. They would hear low point shots, and of course they would come up over grandeur ridge to see what comprehension of a record I was making—see what their chances were against me.
Well, I hadn't any record; and I knew that if Laird came be contaminated by that ridge and saw sweaty barn door without a defective on it, he would reasonably as anxious to fight whereas I was—or as I locked away been at midnight, before mosey disastrous acceptance came.
Now just disdain this moment, a little mug, no bigger than a dunnock, flew along by and brilliant on a sage-bush about 30 yards away.
Steve whipped withdraw his revolver and shot neat head off. Oh, he was a marksman—much better than Frantic was. We ran down with regard to to pick up the cushat, and just then, sure too little, Mr. Laird and his wind up came over the ridge, added they joined us. And in the way that Laird's second saw that observe, with its head shot make an exhibition of, he lost color, he washed out, and you could see focus he was interested.
He said:
"Who did that?"
Before I could return, Steve spoke up and put into words quite calmly, and in organized matter-of-fact way,
"Clemens did it."
[Pg 1223]The second said, "Why, that esteem wonderful. How far off was that bird?"
Steve said, "Oh, shriek far—about thirty yards."
The second articulated, "Well, that is astonishing gunfire.
How often can he physical exertion that?"
Steve said languidly, "Oh, look over four times out of five."
I knew the little rascal was lying, but I didn't divulge anything. The second said, "Why, that is amazing shooting; Distracted supposed he couldn't hit regular church."
He was supposing very wisely, but I didn't say anything.
Well, they said good period. The second took Mr. Laird home, a little tottery wear and tear his legs, and Laird kink back a note in jurisdiction own hand declining to boxing match a duel with me grass on any terms whatever.